Tag Archives: drinking

parenting, Wednesdays parent

Wednesday’s Parent: Talking to Your Teen About Irresponsible Behavior

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irresponsible behaviorOne of the first things we learn growing up is that all of our actions have consequences. If we pull a glass of water off the table, it will spill all over us. If we touch a hot burner on the stove, it will burn. If we pick up a knife on the blade, it will cut us.

Selective memory loss

Teaching teens the consequences of irresponsible behavior can be challenging. Unfortunately, too many teens begin to make choices during their teen years that are life changing and life altering. They don’t rationalize that sleeping with someone you just met can have consequences: sexually transmitted diseases, AIDS, pregnancy, rape and even at the very worst murder. They don’t think that cheating on a test in school, even if you don’t get caught, robs you of an education and learning. They don’t see that getting in a car with a drunk driver could end in tragedy because most teens who are drunk believe they have the capacity to drive. They can’t look far enough into the future to see that going to a college they can’t afford could land them in overwhelming debt after graduation.

Running down the scenarios

I know. All those scenarios are a bit dramatic. But let’s just think before we discount them as viable examples of ignoring the consequences of our choices. Your teen would be well served if he did the same. The next time your teen is tempted to sleep with someone they just met, what would happen if they ran over the previously stated consequences in their mind before they decide to do it? There would be consequences to their decision: good or bad. Before they get into a car with another teen who is drunk or drive drunk themselves, imagine what would happen if there is an accident and their friends or other innocent drivers and passengers are killed. Before getting wasted, imagine what would happen if he got alcohol poisoning and his friends couldn’t recognize the symptoms or get help when it was needed.

All decisions have consequences

When you’re young and your whole life is ahead of you, you tend to function in the present. Twenty or thirty years from now seems like an eternity to someone in their teens. But time has a way of catching up with us and every choice we make when we are young has both good and bad consequences. The trick is to know when those consequences aren’t worth the risk. And the other trick is to pause long enough before taking those risks to weigh both the good and the bad.

If your teen gets anything from this bit of advice, let it be this: take time to think before you act. Weigh the good and the bad consequences. Then once they decide, make the best of their decision and swallow the good with the bad. Every path they take in life has the potential for greatness. Encourage your teen to be wise and think before they act, knowing that their choice could potentially be the wrong one.

Read Wendy’s Post: College Prep Red Flags

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Wednesday’s child may be full of woe but Wednesday’s Parent can substitute action for anxiety. Each Wednesday Wendy and I will provide parent tips to get and keep your student on the college track. It’s never too late or too early to start!

The bonus is on the fourth Wednesday of each month when Wendy and I will host Twitter chat #CampusChat at 9pm ET/6pm PT. We will feature an expert on a topic of interest for parents of the college-bound.

Wednesday’s Parent will give twice the info and double the blog posts on critical parenting issues by clicking on the link at the end of the article from parentingforcollege to pocsmom.com and vice versa.

parenting, Uncategorized, Wednesdays parent

Wednesday’s Parent: Oh the conversations you should have (before prom)

 

promA play on words from Dr. Seuss’ “Oh the Places You’ll Go”; oh the conversations you should have before prom. Apart from the tears, the photos, the worrying and the knowledge that your little baby is all grown up, prom should be an opportunity for you to offer some straight talk about the BIG 3: Sex, Drugs and Drinking. Why? Because at every prom there are students who cross the line and participate in some risky behavior they think demonstrates adulthood.

Sex

Is dating gone? What about courtship? According to a recent NY Times article and most high school and college students it’s a dinosaur. They have random “hook ups” with people they meet–which can include anything from making out to oral sex to intercourse. Parents need to know and understand this new culture in order to prepare their students for college. As I’ve said before, preparation is much more than academics.

Read my post:  The Hooking Up Culture

Drugs

If you or your child has been in the public school system in the last 30 years you’re familiar with the phrase–just say no. From first grade on, those words have been pounded into the heads of kids giving them an answer to anyone who offers them drugs or any other form of abuse. It’s not the answer sometimes that’s important, as much as the attitude behind the response.

Research shows that kids who have a good relationship with their parents are less likely to pursue a life of abuse. The drug awareness programs give parents some guidelines they say will help. They instruct parents to do several things and lead us to believe that if we follow those rules, our kids are less likely to succumb to peer pressure.

Their suggestions have merit. But the bottom line is that most kids, no matter how strong they appear or how great their relationship is with their parents, are going to find themselves in a situation where just saying “no” is not enough. Just saying “no” will be met with teasing, pressure, and even ridicule. It’s your job as a parent to prepare them for that moment.

Read my post: When Just Say “NO” is not enough

Drinking

Your teens are graduating from high school and heading to college. There are 17 million college students that drink alcohol, and 8.5 million of them are binge drinking. We’ve heard the terms “poor” or “struggling” college student before, but it’s no wonder they are living off of Ramen Noodles when there was a reported $163 billion spent on alcohol in America in 2011. It’s not all fun and games when young people are consuming 2 gallons per person of alcohol. There are negative consequences of this behavior that includes assault, rape, injury and even death.

Take a look at these two info graphics that will underscore the importance of this conversation:

How Much Do College Students Drink

The Truth About College Binge Drinking

These are brutal conversations to have with your teen but it may be the last time you can exert some parental influence before they leave for college in the fall. A good friend of mine, Paul Hemphill, a college admissions counselor, says, “every school is a party school.” A difficult fact to face but a reality. Have the conversations now—and if you’re lucky some of it will sink in.

For more prom tips, read Wendy’s post: Surviving Your Teen’s Prom

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Wednesday’s child may be full of woe but Wednesday’s Parent can substitute action for anxiety.                                                                                                                                                                           Each Wednesday Wendy and I will provide parent tips to get and keep your student on the college track. It’s never too late or too early to start!

The bonus is on the fourth Wednesday of each month when Wendy and I will host Twitter chat #CampusChat at 9pm ET/6pm PT. We will feature an expert on a topic of interest for parents of the college-bound.

Wednesday’s Parent will give twice the info and double the blog posts on critical parenting issues by clicking on the link at the end of the article from parentingforcollege to pocsmom.com and vice versa.

parenting, Uncategorized, Wednesdays parent

Wednesday’s Parent: It’s Party Time Again

 

party timeIt’s party time again—your teenagers are getting glammed up for proms and parties. But before they head out the door, there are some topics you should discuss with them. Here are three of my past posts discussing how to talk with your teens about partying that goes too far.

Drinking

It’s party season again and unfortunately that means underage drinking and possibly driving. Before your teen leaves for college, have a chat with him/her about the dangers of alcohol. I know you’re thinking: they won’t listen to me. But kids will tell you that they actually listen more than we think.

Watch this video for the truth about drinking

Hooking Up

What is hooking up? The term “hook up” is vague, but is usually defined as a no-commitment, physical encounter with a stranger or acquaintance. Hooking up can range from just a casual get-together to a make out session to sexual intercourse. Knowing this makes it difficult to discern just what it means when your college student tells you they “hooked up” with so and so.

Read More

Drinking and Driving

Do you remember when you were a teenager? Likely you can recall bits and pieces, but as you have grown older, wiser, and more experienced, you may have forgotten the particular blend of hormones, peer pressure, and self-discovery that leads teens to experience a sense of both invincibility and the immediacy of everything going on in their lives. You no doubt shake your head, exasperated, when your teens decry your overly careful attitude, but the truth is that you are at very different places in life. Your teens have yet to know the heartache and hurt that has caused you to become so cautious. But you have been where they are, and if you try to recall how you thought and felt at their age you should be able to come up with ways to connect to your college-bound kids on a level they can relate to.

Read More

Read Wendy’s post: Partying and your college bound teen

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Wednesday’s child may be full of woe but Wednesday’s Parent can substitute action for anxiety. Each Wednesday Wendy and I will provide parent tips to get and keep your student on the college track. It’s never too late or too early to start!

The bonus is on the fourth Wednesday of each month when Wendy and I will host Twitter chat #CampusChat at 9pm ET/6pm PT. We will feature an expert on a topic of interest for parents of the college-bound.

Wednesday’s Parent will give twice the info and double the blog posts on critical parenting issues by clicking on the link at the end of the article from parentingforcollege to pocsmom.com and vice versa.

parenting

The Teenage Drinking Culture

 

It’s party season again and unfortunately that means underage teenage drinking and possibly driving. Before your teen leaves for college, have a chat with him/her about the dangers of alcohol. I know you’re thinking: they won’t listen to me. But kids will tell you that they actually listen more than we think. And after you have the conversation, show them this video!

Video Graphic by 12 Keys Rehab