Sending your child off to college is a milestone filled with pride and excitement, but it can also be a time of significant emotional upheaval for parents. The transition from having your child at home to seeing them move away to pursue higher education can be challenging.
Here are some common struggles parents face during this period and tips on how to navigate them.
Continue reading When Your Child Heads to College
Once your child decides they want to move cross-country for college, a mix of emotions arise: pride, dread, excitement – perhaps even the urge for something strong like coffee (or maybe stronger!). Don’t fret though; we are here to help guide this new chapter with ease and possibly even bring smiles or laughter along the way!
Continue reading Parent Survival Guide for Cross-Country College Moves
May Decision Day has come and gone. Students have made those final decisions and committed to college in the fall. After all the stress of senior year and some of the conflict that arose within families, you can rest easy the hard work is done and it’s smooth sailing ahead.
But is it? Your student and you have worked hard for this day and you should certainly enjoy the accomplishment. Your student did the work and was accepted to college. You did the work and prepared your student for that next phase in their life: adulthood. You have been planning for this day ever since they entered high school. You looked forward to the day when they would finally leave your nest and go out on their own. But you probably weren’t expecting so many mixed feelings.
Continue reading The Joy and Angst of Decision Day
High school graduation is approaching for seniors; and some tearful goodbyes may be approaching for their parents. Your emotions will transition from pride for their accomplishments to dread and sadness as they move on to the next phase of their lives.
Letting go is never easy. But if you’ve done your job, your student is ready to move to the next phase of their life, which means living independently.
Continue reading High School Graduation: Letting Go Without Holding On
While you may be happy that your child has chosen to attend college, you might also be having a lot of mixed feelings about them moving out and away. You must be prepared for their departure the best you can so that it is a smooth transition for you and them.
The good news is that once you know they’ve been accepted into a college and will be attending a particular school, you’ll have some time together before they head out. Below are some things you should do before your child leaves for college that will help you two grow a stronger bond before this major life change takes place.
Continue reading Pre-College Bucket List for FamiliesWhen I come across a product that can help parents of college students, I’m happy to share it with my readers. For parents whose students will be heading off to college this fall, this product will you stay in touch and show “love” for your students.
Do you have a student entering college for the first time? How about a student returning to school? Either way, they’ll be working hard and missing home. For those that are leaving home for the first time, being away will be exciting and scary. They will be trying to keep up with their work, while at the same time balancing a new social dynamic. Thoughts of home will be a safe haven from the hectic schedule they will now be keeping. For those students who are returning, they will be trying to maintain the school lifestyle they’ve become accustomed to. However, they too will look to reminders of home for solace when things get a little too crazy.
While it’s common for parents to send their students care packages to help them stay fed, most of these care packages are filled with junk food. Processed, unhealthy junk food. Why not give them a true reminder of home each month by ordering them a subscription to A Taste of Home Cake Crate by Kentastic Cakes? A Taste of Home Cake Crate is a monthly subscription of homemade, from scratch baked goods that are shipped directly to their door(or school Mailroom) each month. All items within A Taste of Home Cake Crate are created from scratch using only fresh ingredients. Nothing is processed and everything tastes AMAZING!!
A Taste of Home Cake Crate can be ordered by the month or in longer durations at a discounted price. We also offer our COLLEGE PLAN, which is specifically meant for your student and follows a typical school year. With the COLLEGE PLAN, your student will receive a Cake Crate from September through November and from January through May. They will NOT receive a Cake Crate in the month of December, as most students go home for the holidays. Crates are shipped on or around the 20th of each month, with the exception of May. May crates will be shipped the 1st week of the month to be sure your student receives it before leaving school for the summer. We also offer a First Semester and Second Semester Plan. A NUT FREE option is also available.
Each month, your student will receive:
Kentastic Cakes has been creating beautiful, delicious custom cakes since 2012. In addition to weddings, Bar/Bat Mitzvahs and birthdays, Kentastic Cakes has been enjoyed at high profile events, such as the Boston Strong Benefit Concert after the marathon bombings and the Vans Warped Tour 20th Anniversary BBQ. Our cakes have been eaten by members of NKOTB, Aerosmith, celebrity chef Ming Tsai and more. We’ve even made cake pops for legendary rock band, Motley Crue on their Farewell Tour.
A Taste of Home Cake Crate just celebrated its 1 Year Anniversary and is excited to send your hard working student awesome treats each month. Please visit mycakecrate.com for more detailed information and pricing, as well as some FAQs at our College Plan page.
Orders received by July 1, 2020 will save, as prices will increase on July 1. Save even more by using Code: COLLEGE to save an additional 5% off your order.
As we always say, “Just because they can’t be at home, doesn’t mean you can’t send them A Taste of Home.”
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Elation! That is the normal parental reaction when your child first received their acceptance email for college. Although, even while they are running around the house cheering, a parent’s thoughts can turn to worry. Of course, it is a parent’s lot to protect their child, and that does mean some worry along the way. However, being stressed before they have even left is only going to make it harder on everybody involved, including your kid. Luckily, there are some strategies you can use to keep parental stress to a minimum when your kids go off to college. Something that can ensure the whole process is easier on you as well as your child. Read on to find out what they are.
Money is often a prime concern when it’s time to send your child off to study for a degree. It fact, it can be difficult for all parties involved if families cannot provide tuition and living costs needed. Of course, with many colleges charging anything up to $30,000 for a single year, few families have enough to cover the entire cost of their child’s education.
There are a few ways to combat this, though. One, in particular, is shopping around for the best rate on student loans. In fact, it is entirely possible to use multiple loan providers for smaller amounts that total the sum needed. A strategy that can help to make a substantial saving overall. Something that, in turn, can relieve some of the stress on parents to provide all of the funding for their child’s higher education.
Next, you can really help to minimize any stress for yourself as a parent by making your child has the safest accommodation possible. After all, it is well known there is a culture of both theft and assault in such institutions. One that you will want to do your best to protect them from.
Of course, when they have to share a room on campus, protecting them can be difficult. Although, finding your child a space to live like this student accommodation studio can help to solve this puzzle. The reason being that they can happily, and affordable live alone and have the security of CCTV and security lockable rooms as well. Something that will not only make them feel safer when they are home alone but can seriously reduce any worry for parents as well.
Of course, sourcing the money they need for college is only one half of the coin. In fact, if you want to reduce your stress as a parent in this situation, you must teach your child how to budget as well.
After all, if they can manage their own finances at college competently, the likelihood of you being asking to bail them out economically becomes a lot less. Something that can significantly reduce the amount of worry and stress you experience while they are away studying for their degree.
Your child is finally leaving for college. It may seem just like the other day that you were seeing them off to their first day at school. Now, you are helping them pack away their things, so they can further their education and help change the world. This can be an emotional experience for both parent and child alike–even if the child won’t admit to it. To make sure that both parent and child make the most of their last few months living together, here are a few experiences that you can share before college.
1. Cooking Class
Whether you’re the cook of the family or not, teaching your child how to fend for themselves in the kitchen is crucial to their survival and health. New college students tend to gain some weight at the beginning of school until they find their feet. You can help them by either bringing them into the kitchen with you or signing up for cooking classes together. This can be a fun experience to share together. You can laugh, solve problems together, and forge fond memories that your child will always remember whenever they cook that dish.
2. Take A Trip
This should primarily be done one-on-one or with both parents involved. Whether it’s to their favorite place or somewhere no one has been before, take the moment to enjoy the time with them. You can impart a few lessons about living on their own along the way. Make sure you take some photos, too, to record this last great adventure as a shared family. You may want to choose a quieter setting, too, so you can have those important discussions about safety, health, and any words of wisdom you gleaned from your college days.
3. Family And Friend Time
While they may not believe it, your child is likely going to be saying goodbye to their friends, too. One excellent way to send them off and still have an experience with them is to host a dinner party or pot-luck with friends and family. Only those closest to your child and the closest family members should be invited. This get-together is to celebrate the triumph of your child as well as to send them off with love and wisdom. Just make sure that they don’t spend all of that time with friends.
4. Give Them An Experience Down The Line
Sometimes words can be hard to say face-to-face. A way around this and ensure that you’re still telling your child everything that is in your heart is by writing a letter. You can tuck this away into their luggage in a place that they’ll find the letter. Not only does this make for a final experience for them to share with you later when they’ve moved into their place, but it could help curb some of the inevitable homesickness. This letter can ensure your child how much you love them.
5. Adulthood
Because schools don’t normally equip children with what they need to know to survive in the day-to-day world, you’ll need to take those lessons upon yourself. It will be boring, but it’s the best thing you can do to make sure your child isn’t lost. Take the time to show them how to use an ATM machine, how to open a checking/savings account, how to pay taxes, basically, everything that an adult needs to know how to do. They’ll hate it, so did you at one point, but it will prepare them for the future.
It may be hard to admit, but your child has grown. Making sure that your child knows they are loved and always welcome back home is the best thing you can do for them. By ensuring that they know there isn’t any shame in coming home, they can face the future with strength.
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Today’s guest post is from Hayden Stewart, a contributing author and media specialist for MyKlovr. He regularly produces a variety of content centered around the transitional obstacles that come from students moving from high school to college life and how to succeed once there.
The acceptance letters have arrived and your student has made his final college decision. Check the box–going to college! It’s a tremendous accomplishment for both students and their parents. It’s not just your student who is graduating–you are too! You planned for years for your student to go to college and now he has been accepted. After years of planning it’s time to start a new chapter in your life as well.
First things first–do some celebrating. You’ve earned it. It was a difficult task to raise a successful high school graduate and soon-to-be college student. Allow yourself some time to bask in the accomplishment. This is also time to flood him with showers of praise and words of encouragement. He’s worked hard for this and he needs to hear that you are proud of him.
Once the celebration dust settles, to help you head into the next phase, we have some suggestions to assist with the transition.
Even though it’s a time of celebration, it is also a time of great anxiety; not only for the students who are anxious about their future, but for the parents as well. Students worry about being successful academically, moving away from the safety of home, and the difficult task of making new friends. Parents are riddled with questions and concerns, as any loving parent will be:
These questions and many more are going to be circling your mind over the next few months. However, it’s time for him to put into use the lessons you have taught him over the last 18 years–even if it means he will fail. Standing on the sidelines is difficult, but wipe away the tears and the fears and look ahead to an exciting era for both of you.
Spend the next few months bonding with your college-bound teen: bonding, not smothering. Don’t expect him to want to be with you 24-7. He has friends he wants to spend time with as well, knowing he will be leaving them in the fall. Of course you want to spend time with him. After all, he’s leaving in a few months and you will miss him. But don’t cross the line and expect him to want what you want.
If you can’t camp out in his room or sit on the couch hugging him for hours, what can you do to facilitate the bonding? These suggestions might help:
Be creative and think of other ways you can forge time with him. It can even be something as simple as watching a television show with him or cooking together. Whatever you do, take advantage of every opportunity to bond. It will not only help you when he’s at college, it will provide him with memories to hold on to when (not if) he gets homesick at college.
Before he leaves for college, you should have several conversations. Avoid lecturing; but discuss some issues he will be faced with at college. You may have discussed these before, but it’s time to reinforce them again:
Even though he’s an adult now (or so he thinks) you need to help him understand that you have certain expectations regarding academics. It’s going to require a commitment on his part to attend class, study, and turn in assignments when they are due. Discuss options for tutoring on campus and what to do if he begins to struggle.
Budgeting in college for someone who has depended on parents for everything they need can be difficult. Sit down and help him make a budget and discuss what you will be providing as far as expenses and what you expect him to contribute. This will help minimize the phone calls panicking because he’s out of money.
College provides multiple opportunities to socialize–some of it is good, some not so good. Talk about the drinking, drug and hooking up culture on campus which go hand-in-hand with college life. Discussing it ahead of time will help prepare him when he’s faced with decisions and also come up with a plan to have fun without harming himself or others.
Make sure he understands the concept of consequences–to his actions, his choices, and his inaction. Remind him to think before he acts because most college decisions affect what happens in the future. For instance, a decision to skip class could result in a poor grade. Or a decision to drink and drive could not only put his life at risk, but if caught, a DUI could affect his ability to secure a job after graduation.
It’s a natural instinct for teens to want to take everything to college with them. Resist that urge. Dorm rooms are small. He will be sharing a space with another student who has brought things from home as well. As a general rule of thumb, here’s a short list of “do take and don’t take” items:
Do take
Don’t take
Talk with the roommate about what he is bringing and try not to duplicate. Decide who is bringing the television, the microwave and the mini-fridge–staples in any dorm room. As your and your teen are making a list of items, remember that less is more in a college dorm room.
Most colleges have instituted parent orientation to go along with the traditional student orientation. Parent orientation can provide parents with information about student life, guidance about dealing with college-related issues, and help dealing with separation anxiety. Additionally, you will be able to participate in workshops, take a campus tour and listen to speeches about common parent issues conducted by faculty and staff.
The BostonGlobe reports that most parents found the events to be more than worthwhile:
Colleges around the country are holding orientations for families of incoming freshmen. But these are not simple “Meet the Dean” receptions held the day before school starts. These are elaborate two- and three-day events, often held on midsummer weekdays. “What I’ve heard across the country from parents is that these events are marked on their calendar with a big red heart,” said Natalie Caine, who counsels parents through her business, Empty Nest Support Services in Los Angeles.They say, ‘I need to go. I need to see what it’s like. I want to hear what they have to offer, what the security system is like, who’s the contact person if there’s a problem.’
Use the next few months to prepare yourself and your teen for the upcoming college move-in day. If you’re well-prepared, it will be easier for both you and your student. In the meantime, enjoy your summer and use every opportunity to make some memories!
It’s happening. The dreaded day has arrived and you have dropped off your student at college. The tears have flowed, and you made the long drive home in turmoil. But it didn’t end there, you got home and you walked by her room. The floodgates opened again. I recently had a conversation with my brother and sister-in-law the other day about dropping their daughter off at college. They echoed all the above sentiments and assured me it was the hardest thing they had ever done. I too have been there as well.
But with all the emotions, heartbreak, empty nest feelings, grief and general frustration that took place on that day, a new day will break and we all begin our new life—hers in college, and yours at home missing her. When the dust settles, what can you expect? What is a typical day like in the life of a college mom?
Either before you get home or in the next few days you will either get a text, a tweet, or a phone call from her. Mine needed some personal information, some medical information and some banking information. At the end of the call, she said, “Thanks Mom, I knew you could help me.” Those few simple words let me know she still needed me. It doesn’t matter how independent you think she is, she’s going to need you; and, she’s going to reach out for help.
It’s going to happen sooner or later: your college student will get homesick. The moment you accept the inevitable, the better equipped you will be to handle it. The best response is to listen. The worst response is to rescue her. Harlan Cohen, author of The Naked Roommate, says, “giving a homesick kid more home is like giving someone on a diet chocolate cake and a pint of ice cream.” The solution to homesickness is to create a home at college. Encourage her to get involved socially. Many parents have found this to be the perfect time for a care package from home.
Believe it or not, this is a good sign. It means your student is getting involved, making new friends, and studying. She has little time to phone home or stay in constant communication with her parents. It’s not personal. It’s a sign she is adjusting to college life and doesn’t need to connect with home as often as she did in the first few weeks.
The first time your college student gets sick (and she will get sick), she will call you. Every college student needs their mommy when they get sick. The stress, the sleepless nights, and the poor eating habits will perpetuate the sickness. Send a care package of your best “comfort” items and encourage her to get some rest. The first sickness will be the worst. After that, she will know how to treat them herself.
I don’t care how well the roommates get along in the beginning, there is going to be roommate drama. Personalities will clash, boyfriends/girlfriends will enter in to the drama, and bad habits will cause problems. Encourage your student to resolve these conflicts on her own and seek help if things continue to escalate—that’s what RAs are there for.
No matter how much you plan and think you’re prepared for everything, expect the unexpected. It may come in the form of her wanting to transfer, or wanting to do a 360 on her major. She may announce that she has failed a class (without any notice), or that she is completely out of money and needs your help. Whatever the circumstance, she will ask for your advice and expect, as she did in the past, that you will know what she should do. Don’t panic, just listen. Offer advice. Then let her solve the problem herself.
Be comforted knowing that she will always be your little girl and she will always need her mommy. The same goes for sons—it doesn’t matter how old they get, they will come running to you for comfort and advice.