Today, teaching your teens to respect themselves online is just as important as any other life lesson and when college is on the horizon, it is more essential than ever. Gone are the simple nuggets of advice which our parents put so much weight on; now it takes a steadfast determination to somehow get across what many teens think they already know.

Teaching the potential pitfalls of social media communication requires determination, cleverness, reverse psychology, and, if need be, tough love.

Watch the Traps

Social media strips away the ability to tune into someone’s social clues. Dr. Catherine Steiner-Adair, a clinical psychologist and author of The Big Disconnect comments,

“In a way, texting and online communicating puts everybody in a nonverbal disabled context, where body language, facial expression, and even the smallest kinds of vocal reactions are rendered invisible.”

Because of this, there are many possible pitfalls your teen can fall into without them even knowing it. These pitfalls can manifest into adversely affecting their self-esteem, confidence, and overall self-respect. Some of these to watch for and discuss include:

• Impostor Syndrome – Because image is so important to teens, it isn’t uncommon for them to create faux and/or multiple online personas. Talk with them about true identity and online identity, being sure to make them think about the difference between the two.
• Stalking – It’s easy to annoy people online, but not only can it rapidly degenerate one’s reputation it can, in extreme cases, like cyber bullying, turn illegal. In addition, the hyper connection that kids have been living with could turn them into a recluse during college. Practice digital breaks and discuss how digitally harassing someone only creates unnecessary anxiety for both parties.
• The Record – Sexting, private pictures/videos, and dangerous language are only a few of the traps that teens can slip into, especially once on their own at school. If your child doesn’t already know that every single thing they do on their computer is recorded, they should be told. Nothing can be deleted without a professional IT swipe and if something is emailed or texted, it is out there forever. A bad online decision, for any reason, can throw a teen into such a depressing funk that gaining back their self-respect may be a real uphill battle.

Helpful Apps

Thankfully, the digital universe is not all that bad and when it comes to teaching your teens to respect themselves online, a variety of available apps may help. Before they head to college, offer to buy or download apps that address:

• Fitness– The “freshman fifteen” is a common term tossed around college campuses, but it needn’t apply to your child. There are great apps to track daily fitness and help your child maintain their weight and inevitably their self-respect.
• Affirmations – A daily pop up quoting a positive affirmation may be just what your teen needs during the trials and tribulations of college life.
• Life Coach– Yes, there are digital life coach apps that can assist your child with life problems they may not want to discuss with you.
• Books – They’re still around, just not the tangible kind. Send them off with a downloaded book or two that you feel may help them keep their chin up.

Stay Connected

Stay connected, not with a device but with your heart. As cliché as that may sound, the Child Mind Institute describes some good habits to boost your teens digital self-respect,

“Establish technology-free zones in the house and technology-free hours when no one uses the phone, including mom and dad.”

Dr. Steiner-Adair advises,

“Give them your full attention until they’re out the door. And neither of you should be using phones in the car to or from school because that’s an important time to talk.”

Keep teaching your teens to respect themselves online and once they start college they’ll hopefully have a good foundation to beth them through unscathed.

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Today’s guest post is from Tara Heath, a journalist in Southern California. As a mom of two teens, college is on the horizon and she is constantly looking for ways to teach her kids the importance of using the internet and social media wisely.