Tag Archives: parenting

in the news, parenting, Uncategorized

Teaching Your Teen 10 Lessons from the 2020 Election

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election

It doesn’t matter which side of the political aisle you are on, the 2020 Election can teach your teen some valuable lessons about life, responsibility and outcomes. Since you are their greatest teacher, take a moment to discern what they are indeed gleaning from your behavior during this election time. There are important lessons for them to learn from this election.

  1. There will always be winners and losers–The sooner they learn this truth the happier they will be. You can’t always be on the winning team and you should always be a good sport about losing.
  2. With freedom comes responsibility–Voting is a responsibility. Vote in EVERY election and take your teens with you. Let them experience this freedom right along side of you. Decisions are made by the people who show up.
  3. Bashing someone else’s beliefs and opinions only makes you small–Don’t be one of those people that rub victory in other people’s face or bash the ones who won. Rise above the temptation and take the high road.
  4. Even though you may not be happy with an outcome of a decision or path you take, you can still move forward–Teach your teens that there is always a road ahead. Mistakes have consequences but you deal with those, learn from them, and go in a positive direction.
  5. Playing the blame game never benefits anyone–If you blame everyone for the way things turn out, you are teaching your teen to do the same. Explain to them that we are all responsible for our OWN actions, not those of others.
  6. Support your leaders and if you don’t agree, take action toward effecting change–This is America and we have elected our leaders, so they should be respected. If you aren’t happy with the people who are in office, work toward the next election. Sitting around voicing hatred for them will only teach your teen to do the same.
  7. We shouldn’t be defined by our political views but by our values–A famous person once said, “We’re not the red states or the blue states, but the UNITED States.” Teach your teens your values and they will carry them into the future.
  8. Your behavior speaks volumes about the kind of person you are–Don’t be one of those that post hateful comments on social media sites. Be the one who focuses on the future and sees  good in everyone.
  9. Negative attitudes make you a very unhappy adult–Negativity breeds defeat, discouragement, and despair. You certainly don’t want your teen to live their life with these attitudes.
  10. You live in the greatest country in the world–Say what you will, but we have FREE elections and every adult is given a vote to decide who governs us. Teach your teens to be proud of our country, our past, and our future.

I have watched all the negative campaign ads for a year. I’ve read Twitter and Facebook feeds for months. Many adults need to apply these 10 principles to their lives. Your college-bound teen is our future; teach them to respect one another and dream. Above all, VOTE!

life lessons, parenting

Parent Tip Week: Raising an Independent Student

independent student

So much time is spent preparing for the actual college choice and application that very little time and effort goes into prepping for these valuable life skills. They may be prepared for the academic rigors of college, but neglecting to prepare for all the other aspects of college life might affect your success and ultimate degree completion. It’s your role as a parent to make sure they have these skills before they leave for college.

We must, as parents, raise an independent student. That means they must know how to self-advocate. They must know how to say “no” to behaviors that have negative consequences. They must be responsible with their time and their money. It’s no easy task and in today’s world, we have to add the ability to make wise social and economic choices.

Financial skills

When your student heads off to college there will be many financial decisions they need to make, beginning with how much student loan debt they are willing to incur. Use loan repayment calculators to determine the amount of re-payments after graduation and use these figures to make wise decisions about loans. They will also need to know how to budget their money in regards to other college costs such as books, living expenses and entertainment. Add to that the knowledge of credit card rates and how easily it is to fall into debt using them for simple things such as pizza. Many students graduate from college with over $10,000 in credit card debt.

Social skills

If your student is headed off to college to hook up with the party scene, they are in for a rude awakening when their first semester grades are released. Many students forget that partying affects their study time and class attendance. If they are exhausted from partying the night before, they are less likely to get up for that early class. Recognize that while making friends and enjoying the social scene are necessary for their overall satisfaction of the college experience, they should not forget the reason they came to college: to get an education. Discuss with them how to balance their social life with their academic life before they leave in the fall.

Academic skills

College is not like high school. Professors expect that your student do their assignments and they don’t check up on you if you don’t. Coming to college with refined study and organization skills will help your student adjust to the rigorous course requirements of a college degree program. Managing their time is also important as it relates to class assignments, studying for tests and preparing term papers.

Mental skills

College life produces a whole new set of mental and emotional problems. Many students face homesickness early and should recognize that those feelings are normal. They should go to college with the skills needed to cope with stress and the feeling of loneliness that often occurs. Recognize that all these factors contribute to their overall mental health and know beforehand where they can find help if they need it.

Problem solving skills

College is no different than life—obstacles occur on a daily basis and you will need the skills to deal with those obstacles. Your student will be confronted with conflict and should know how to resolve that conflict, either by themselves or with a mediator (such as an RA or student advisor). They will face situations that require them to advocate and they should be comfortable doing this before they head off to college and become completely independent.

The question we should all be asking our students is:

Are you prepared for college?

I’m not talking about academic, extracurriculars, or standardized tests. I’m talking about the “real” college prep: adulthood. Because this is the most important college prep of all. If your student isn’t ready to study without being constantly nagged, attend class without a wake-up call, or make wise choices when every negative influence in the world bombards them, then he or she is not ready for college.

Do you have a to-do list for your future college student? Can they live within a budget? Do they understand the importance of study and class attendance? Do they know how to choose the right friends? Will they make wise choices about alcohol, sex and other risky behaviors. Preparing them for college is so much more than academics.

Get this book: Toward College Success: Is Your Teenager Ready, Willing and Able? Read it and apply its tactics. When your student goes off to college they will be prepared for the real world which can sometimes be cruel; but a learning environment preparing them for adulthood.

parenting, scholarships

Parent Tip Week: How to Help with Scholarships

help with scholarships

Most parents want their student to win scholarships. Even if you can afford to pay for college, free money is always welcome. But talk with parents and parent groups and you can hear the frustration:

  • My student isn’t motivated to search for scholarships.
  • My student has applied for so many scholarships and hasn’t won a dime.
  • Where do we search? Should we sign up on all the scholarship search engines?

But the number one questions parents ask is:

How can I help my student search and apply for scholarships?

Here are just a few ways parents can help with scholarships and scholarship applications:

Help with organization

Your student will need an organized system to help with the scholarship search and application process. You can help! Encourage your student to set up Google docs for scholarships with the name of the scholarship, requirements, due dates, and information needed for each.

As you find scholarships, you can add to the list that will be easily accessible to you and your student. This will also help you stay on top of deadlines so you can quickly text a reminder to your student.

Help with searching

You can help your student search for scholarships. While you are waiting in just about any line, you can use your smartphone to search. You can use Google or there are apps available to help you search.

Watch the news, look at community bulletin boards, talk to family and friends and search local organizations for scholarship opportunities. You can keep a notebook with you, or just open the Google doc and add the scholarships you find.

Help with proofreading

You can’t write their essays or fill out their applications, but you can proofread and double check the requirements before your student applies.

Help with reminders

Email or text your student when deadlines are approaching to remind them to submit the application on time. With so many things to do, it’s hard for students to stay on top of deadlines.

admissions, college guidance, college prep, parenting

Parent Tip Week: Parenting for College

parenting for college

It’s hard. I know. I’ve been there. You want your student to have the BEST education available. You want them to want it as much as you do. You see them making some choices that you know they will regret. As hard as you try, you find yourself pressuring them to make the right choice and the battle lines are drawn. They dig their heels in. You dig your heels in. And the tug of war begins.

What’s a parent to do when you feel your college-bound teens are making the wrong choices related to college? Take a deep breath and read these examples (along with my suggestions). Parenting for college can and probably will be a struggle.

Your college-bound teen tells you he doesn’t want to go to the college that is hard to get into and is opting for what you consider to be sub par.

Don’t panic or overreact. It’s possible he is scared. Try and ascertain the reasoning behind the decision. Don’t do this by badgering him or constantly asking him why. The best way to figure out what is wrong is to LISTEN. Listen to him talk about his day, about college, about how he feels. If fear is not the reason, perhaps he feels the other college would be a better fit. If that’s the case, do yourself a favor and back off. The worst thing you can do with a teenager is force him into a decision he feels is wrong. Sometimes the best lessons we learn are the ones that come from making our own decisions (right or wrong).

Your college-bound teen tells you that he simply MUST go to Private College A, even though she knows it comes with a high price tag.

Don’t let her bully you into sending her to a college you can’t afford AND one that will require a tremendous amount of student loan debt. Sit her down and explain to her the dangers of graduating in debt. Use the college repayment calculators if you have to. If she truly wants to go to Private College A, she needs to do the work (good grades, good SAT/ACT scores, great essay) to be awarded scholarship/grant money from that college.

It’s also worth considering that a private college may be similar in cost to a public university. Since many private colleges have generous alumni that donate, they often award large merit scholarships. Public universities are not as generous with aid.

Your college-bound teen is not interested in college, deadlines, studying for the SAT or any other path that leads him toward higher education.

If there is one thing I learned with both of my kids (and clients), if they aren’t invested in the college process they won’t be invested in college. Save yourself some time, money and heartache and wait until they are. If not, they can learn from the college of hard knocks–minimum wage jobs are the BEST motivator!

It’s also important to note that not every student is meant for college. There are, indeed, other options. Many have taken those different paths and been perfectly successful and happy. It could be time to consider alternatives to college.

Your college-bound teen misses deadlines, panics and comes running to you at the last minute to fix it.

The simplest way I know to avoid missing deadlines, is to get yourself a huge wall calendar and a fat red marker. Put it in a place that they have to pass by every single day. In addition, with all the smartphones and calendar apps available today, missing a deadline should be a thing of the past. At some point (hopefully when they go to college), they will have to fix their own problems. Let them do it now, while they live at home, and it will be easier for them once they are gone. Rescuing your kids all time only makes them into dependent adults and colleges aren’t impressed with those type of students or the parents that come with them.

Your college-bound teen suddenly announces she is not ready for college and wants to take a year off.

First of all, wait. Don’t react. Just listen. Odds are the mood will change with the wind and once all her friends are making college plans, that desire that she once had will kick back in. If not, let her know that it won’t be a “free-ride” year.

With the pandemic, gap years are becoming prevalent. Your student can use the time to investigate career options, work at an internship, volunteer in the community, or simply work and save money toward college.

If you have any questions or personal experiences you would like to share, please leave a comment here and share it with other parents. We learn from each other and from our mistakes and successes!

homeschooling, online learning

Homeschooling During the Pandemic

homeschooling

At a time when home-based learning is becoming increasingly common thanks to the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic, it is wise to think about other ways of learning at home. Traditionally, we think of homeschooling as textbooks and pens and paper, but it can be so much more than that.

Some parents opt for unschooling, which allows children to follow their own interests and talents at their own speed. Other parents look at things like forest schools or online schools. There are so many ways to do it these days – there really is an option for everyone. 

Here, we look at how you can use everyday life to teach your children at home while making it fun for everyone.

Some homeschoolers love to use the theatre as their inspiration and creative starting point for a homeschooling topic, and that is because it encompasses so many things – drama, art, music, language, history – the possibilities are endless. 

Use the arts

Some theatres even use curriculum tools that go right along with the shows they have. Theatre as a means of teaching helps to engage in learning in so many dimensions. Music opens up a high degree of brain creativity. When coupled with the visual elements of the set and the storytelling that is made to come to life by the performers, the elements of the production are distinct from any other method of teaching. 

You can also use pieces of music, inspirational pieces of art or even your favorite movie as a starting point. Sit down with your children, and make a mindmap with all the things that they could do connected to that particular piece of art. Pinterest is a great resource for this. 

Go outdoors

Forest schools have exploded in popularity in recent years and that is because more educators and parents are discovering the benefits that learning outdoors has on children. At it’s most basic, you can pick up your work and take it to a spot in the garden or the beach, but why not try actually using the natural environment as inspiration? Geocaching can teach geography skills, photography can be mathematical, building dens can be maths and engineering, looking for animal tracks can be science.

Let them lead the way

This takes us back to the point we made further up about unschooling, but it is one of the best ways to really engage children and give them ownership over their learning. If they show a particular interest in something – space, dinosaurs, cars, even toys, roll with it. Look at how you can incorporate that into learning and what they can get from it. Sure, they might bit be learning how to do deep algebraic formulations, but if they have their heart set on becoming a museum curator, they might not need it. 

Many parents opt to homeschool because their children are under too much pressure at school. However you decide to educate your child at home, stay relaxed – otherwise you could end up defeating the object!

college guidance, parenting

Teaching Social Skills Before College

social skills

Social skills are important for all of us in day to day life. The vast majority of us are surrounded by other people at all times. We have to work with others. We socialize with others. We engage with people in countless situations on a day to day basis – buying items in stores, navigating ourselves through crowds in the streets, spending time with friends… the list goes on. So, social interaction is going to be a constant presence throughout your child’s entire life. Teaching them social skills before college is essential. They’ll settle into school, make friends, enjoy extracurricular activities and much more if they are able to effectively interact with the people they’re surrounded by. Here are a few areas to focus on to get your college-bound student ready for college.

Teach Communication

Communication is absolutely essential to getting by in the world. We all need to be able to express how we’re feeling in order to maintain good relationships with anyone. Without effective communication, your teen won’t be able to make friends well. So, encourage your child to talk. Get them to talk about how they’re feeling. Get them to talk about their interests. Get them to talk about what they’ve been up to and what they’re planning on doing each day. Simple conversation can go a long way when it comes to helping your teen express themselves and build bonds with others. You can find more information on how to achieve this at teachkidscommunication.

Teach Empathy

Empathy is another essential life skill. It will help your teen to understand how others feel at any given time. This will help them respond appropriately in different social situations. They will be able to help others when they’re feeling sad, down or distressed. They’ll be able to pick up on signs of anger and help to resolve the issues that are causing it. They’ll be able to share in others joy when others are happy or celebrating. Empathy really is important. But how do you teach empathy? Well, you simply actively encourage your child to see the world through another’s eyes or walk in another’s shoes. Ask them to consider how others such as their siblings or friends are feeling.

Lead by Example

Remember that your teen will pick up on your own social behavior, so lead by example and be a good role model. Make sure to treat others respectfully and appropriately at all times in front of your child. They’ll pick up on your behavior and begin to mimic it themselves!

Hopefully, the above advice will help you to help your soon-to-be college student when it comes to social skills! Focus on these different areas to get the best results possible!

college guidance, college planning, college prep, parenting

College Prep Is a Team Effort

college prep

The college admissions process can be overwhelming. It will be a stressful time for both you and your teen. Your teen will need your help and your support. They will need to know they can count on you to do your part so they can do their part. It’s truly a team effort. Good parenting is key, especially during college prep.

Here are some helpful suggestions for you that will help you help your teen during college prep.

Make a visit to your teen’s counselor– Let the counselor know that you intend to be an involved parent and establish a relationship at the start. The counselor is an important source of information and of course guidance regarding your teen’s college pursuit.

Establish relationships with teachers and staff– Since most parents tend to drop out when their teen reaches high school, it’s crucial that you make it clear to the educators that you will be a partner in educating your child. Keep in touch and verify your teen’s progress via email if it’s available and attend any teacher conferences or parent meetings that are scheduled. Show up at PTA meetings and parent information sessions, making you visible to the staff.

Read all school information– Once you have stressed to your teen the importance of ensuring that ALL information gets home to you, you must take the time to READ it. This means reading the school handbook, teacher handouts, letters to parents, guidance department newsletters, any rules and policies, and homework and attendance rules. Discuss these with your teen to alleviate any future misunderstandings that might arise over failing to follow school guidelines.

Stress the importance of good attendance– Attendance is key in high school. Missing even one class can put the student behind. Schedule appointments, when possible, before and after school. If there is an absence, make sure your teen does the make up work in a timely manner. If the absence will be for an extensive period of time, coordinate with the teachers to assure the makeup work is completed.

Encourage strong study habits– These habits will follow your teen to college. Set aside a regularly scheduled study time. Studying needs to be a priority before any added activities. GPA rules in the college admission process and good study habits will assure your teen enters the process with an impressive one. Don’t allow your teen to procrastinate and go into overdrive because they waited until the last minute to complete a project.

Stress regular contact with teachers and counselors-This contact will play an important role when your teen needs recommendation letters. It will also establish in the minds of these educators that he or she means business. They will see that your teen is there to learn and excel and ask questions. Those students are the ones that are recommended for leadership positions and academic awards. It can be something as simple as saying hello in the hallway or using the counselor’s office to research scholarships.

Be the organization coach– My mantra for high school was: Preparation Prevents Panic. If you know where everything is, have a schedule and a plan, you won’t get stressed and frustrated. Sometimes the only filing system a teen has is their floor. It’s your job as their parent coach to help them start and maintain good organization for their date planners, notebooks, folders, files and college related materials.

Stay informed and involved– This does not mean camp out at the school every day and follow your teen around (although that is tempting). It means monitoring quizzes, grades, daily homework assignments and long-term projects. If you begin to notice any problems, schedule an appointment with the teacher and work out a plan for tutoring if it’s necessary. Don’t wait for the report card to lower the boom. If you stay proactive and informed, you and your teen will be able to fix any problems before they become catastrophes.

Know your teen’s friends (and their parents)– Your teen’s out of school activities will always affect in-class behavior. In high school, it’s as much about social activity as it is about academic success. Assuring that your teen’s friends share the same values and goals will make a difference in their focus in and out of school. Encourage them to make friends that have college as a goal and have the same study habits. Take the time to meet and get to know your teen’s friends’ parents. Make sure they share your values and understand your position on smoking, drinking and drugs.

Be proactive when you encounter problems– All types of problems arise in high school: academic, behavioral and even social. There is a logical solution for all of them, but the key is to be aware when they arise and address them quickly. Academic problems require additional teacher help, tutoring, and possibly study skill courses. If you encounter behavioral problems, contact the school counselor or principal and discuss with them recommendations for the particular situation. Coaches can often help, along with a mentor. Sometimes professional counseling is warranted. Don’t ever be afraid to ask for help. And don’t make the mistake of turning your head and going into denial. Problems only get worse if they are ignored, especially in high school.

homeschooling, move-in day, pandemic, parenting

Helping your Student During the Pandemic

pandemic

We’re living through some pretty strange times right now. Just a few months ago, life was on track and routine. We were living day to day life to schedule – dropping the kids to school, heading to work or completing tasks around the house, socializing with our free time or heading out for fun days out. But since then, the unprecedented spread of coronavirus – a contagious and potentially lethal virus – around the world has turned many of our lives on their heads. The majority of governments have asked us to remain at home as much as possible. Schools have been closed. People are working remotely or not working at all. Socializing outside of your household isn’t really an option. This has posed many of us with a variety of difficulties and problems. But for those of us with kids, school tends to be a main concern. Here are just a few different ways you can maintain your children’s education during the pandemic!

Reduce Pressure

First and foremost, reduce pressure on yourself and your little ones. These are difficult times for everyone and all children are going to be falling behind on their education right now. When schools reopen, all kids are going to find themselves in the same position and teaching will recommence from where it was left off. So, don’t be too hard on yourself or your kids. Instead, focus on this time for bonding.

Look Up Your Child’s Curriculum

If you do want to help to introduce your little one to a few of the things they’d currently be learning at school if there wasn’t a pandemic, you can always look up their curriculum and see what they would be being taught right now. Remember that curriculums vary from one school to another, so ensure you’re focusing on the right one. If in doubt, you could always contact the school and ask.

Use All Resources Available

There are so many great, free online resources out there that can prove educational for your child. Watch a few educational Youtube videos for their age group and determine whether any are good for your child to watch. Use sites like PennyDell Puzzles to challenge them with logic and numbers. Stimulate their creativity with arts and crafts projects or writing projects. Encourage them to read books. Watch kids shows on history, science and other areas with them. Consider investing in language learning software for them. There are so many different options out there!

Set Your Own Tests

Basic spelling and maths tests are easy to set up yourself when you have little ones. Challenge them with simple maths and spellings. Many kids find this fun and enjoy the element of competition.

These are just a few suggestions when it comes to educating your kids at home during the pandemic. They’ll be back to school soon enough, but hopefully, these steps will really help for now!

move-in day, Sponsored posts

Campus Arrival Helps Students Prepare for Move-In Day

campus arrival

My goal here is to help parents navigate the college maze. Part of that process is to find and recommend products and/or services that will help parents as they navigate the process.

With college move-in day approaching in the fall and parents using the summer to shop and gather items to send with their college students, I’ve found a FREE service that can help: Campus Arrival. This service makes it easy for parents and students to view and check off all the items the college either requires or recommends for students to move on to campus.

All you need to do is sign up for an account which lets you save your supply checklist. By doing this, you can mark items as done. You’ll also be able to set your school as a favorite so you can link to it quicker. Also, if any other family members want to help and buy you something for college, they can see what you need and what you already have.

Once registered, type in the name of your school (or search on the list by state), and you will see a curated list of college-ready items to pack based on the college’s official recommendations. They have also included items from other schools’ suggestions and expert advice compiled from around the internet. All their recommendations are based on a balance between quality and value.

You will also notice a checkmark next to an item that indicates it is included as an official recommendation from the college. According to their FAQ section:

Our recommendations come in three flavors.

  • First are specific item recommendations. These include an explanation for why we are recommending the item along with a link to that specific product.
  • Second are ‘Starter Pack’ recommendations. These are lists of items that are similar. We added the lists for items that are small and don’t require significant concern about reviewing the product – things like toiletries, desk supplies, etc. Lists provide an easy way to grab a bunch of things at once.
  • Third are search recommendations. For some items, there can be a lot of personal preference involved – things like bedding, posters, bikes, etc. The search recommendations provide a link to Amazon with many options that meet the need but you can personalize for your personality.

For example, here is a screenshot from a college in Texas: Texas A&M University.

For those parents who are concerned about the coronavirus, Campus Arrival has also included recommendations for Covid-19 prep:

Sincelaptops are a major asset while you’re at college, their recommendations help you with the specific hardware requirements for your school and major. They search the school’s official site. Each school is different in terms of the info they provide. Some schools provide general specifications. Some give major’s specific needs. And some schools don’t provide any recommendations.

Campus Arrival includes the links to the official school recommendations so you can reference them (in the Sources section of the school page). With the hardware specifications, they use CNET extensively to make product recommendations. They also consider Amazon reviews and will search other technology sites to make sure the products are high quality.

Campus Arrival also provides a list of prohibited items and posts the links to the sources they used to compile their lists. This takes the guesswork out of trying to prepare for move-in day and helps parents shop confidently and easily for their student.

If you don’t see you your college on their sight, you can make a recommendation for them to add it their list. While you wait for your specific school to be added, you can check out their General Recommendations list. This list is a combination of all the items they have collected from all the schools completed. It’s a good start and provides everything you’ll need.

If you have a college-bound student, take advantage of Campus Arrival’s convenient service to help you and your student prepare for move-in day.

This is a sponsored post

life lessons, parenting

10 Lessons a Pet Can Teach Your Children

pet

Families with children are known as the highest demographic to most likely own a pet. Children have numerous gifts to offer a pet, with countless hours of attention and play, cuddles, and a life-long companion. However, the rewards work both ways.  

Your children can learn a lot from owning a pet, whether it’s compassion, empathy, or the responsibility they may need to take them through college and into adulthood, these 10 valuable life lessons are what they could learn: 

Responsibility

Whether you choose ot have a dog such as a chocolate lab from https://chocolatelabradorretriever.ca/ or a smaller pet like a guinea pig, pets need to have daily food, affection, and exercise as well as potty time and grooming. Older children can learn these skills and use them and even younger children can help to feed them and play with them. 

Trust

It’s easy to confide in your pet, they will offer you unconditional support in return. Pets make trusted companions for children and can be an important step to helping your child build trust in other relationships they may have through their life.

Compassion

Caring for a living creature requires compassion, empathy, and understanding, Kids learn to be kind and how they can take care of another’s needs. 

Bereavement

You child will inevitably feel the pain of any loss of a pet, but it will also teach them how to cope through a bereavement period. A lesson not many get to learn when young. 

Physical Activity

If you own a dog, your children can learn how to have fun physical activity through games like fetch or tug of war. And enjoy going for walks. Research suggests that children who own a dog spend more time being physically active than children who don’t. 

Patience

It can take time to bond with a new pet, so your child will learn patience whilst your new pwr becomes comfortable and starts to feel at home during training. 

Respect

Owning a pet is a great way to teach children how to respect others. They much tend to their needs, touch them gently, and learn not to disturb them when they are sleeping or eating. 

Self-Esteem

Pets will show them unconditional love, which can be a wonderful boost to a child’s self-esteem. So, too, can the proudness and satisfaction from having the responsibility of caring for a pet’s needs. 

Loyalty

A pet’s loyalty toward its owner is hard to match. With this, children can learn the importance of showing loyalty to their furry friend. 

Social Skills

A dog can be a fantastic way to break the ice in social situations. This means taking your dog on family walks can help to improve your children’s social skills as they see you interact