This has certainly been one of those years. It all began with news of a virus in China. Then it began to spread and the world was in the midst of a pandemic. As time progressed it made it to our country and everyone was frightened and scared. People were dying. There seemed to be no hope. Schools closed. Businesses closed. Churches closed. We all stayed home and waited.
Just when it seemed the outlook was improving, a senseless and cruel act of murder occurred at the hands of a policeman—someone we trusted to protect us. I kept remembering the words spoken in Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner: “All hell done broke lose around here!” Truer words were never spoken.
I’m certainly not a psychologist or pretend to understand what it’s like to live as a person of color in this country. But I have children and grandchildren and it’s moments like these when they are watching us. They watch how we respond and how we treat others. Raising an independent adult should also involve raising a compassionate human being.
These are teachable moments.
Violence is not the answer
On September 20, 1958, Izola Ware Curry walked into a Harlem department store where King was signing books and asked, “Are you Martin Luther King?” When he replied “yes,” she stabbed him in the chest with a knife. King survived, and the attempted assassination only reinforced his dedication to nonviolence:
“The experience of these last few days has deepened my faith in the relevance of the spirit of nonviolence, if necessary social change is peacefully to take place.”
Look for the helpers
Mr. Rogers’ mother had the best advice for a time like this—look for the helpers. We looked for the helpers during the pandemic at its worst. We should look for the helpers in the midst of this civil unrest.
Policemen, sheriffs and mayors speaking to the protestors and asking to “walk with them” in solidarity and as a promise to do better. People showing up to help business owners clean up after the damage from the riots. Protestors protecting the police when surrounded by an angry mob. A protestor bringing a case of water to the policemen standing watch. Helpers put all of this into perspective.
Which brings me to the next teachable moment…
Love one another
Nothing good ever comes from hate. Our children are innocent and loving when born. If they are taught to hate, they will hate. If they are taught to love, they will love. Teach them to unconditionally love their fellow humans. Martin Luther King Jr. said,
“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”
Stand with those who are hurting
Every single person who viewed the video of that policeman kneeling on George Floyd’s neck was outraged. There’s no question that he used his position of authority to murder that man and showed no mercy when the man was crying for help. Your teen should know you are outraged and understand why. It should open a discussion about how you feel about racism and give you an opportunity to talk about this issue. If you feel moved to act, allow your teenager to participate if they ask. Nothing will change if we don’t teach our children to be color blind. Martin Luther King Jr. explained it clearly,
“In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.”
Dyslexia can affect one in five people, according to the National Institutes of Health. Once you have noticed the symptoms such as laboured or inaccurate reading and/or spelling. As well as difficulty rhyming, associating sounds with alphabetic symbols, sequencing and ordering sounds you can take the next step to be diagnosed. There are many ways to help Dyslexia.
Schools that specialize in Dyslexia
Schools such as CLOI’s Dyslexia PD offerings can often provide extra attention towards teaching them how to utilize, systematic and sequential instructional approach while reading and writing. The best method they use is a multisensory method. This can ensure that each plan is helping them to succeed with every journey with something like their writing and reading. They understand Dyslexia in a way that looks at it from different views to ensure that they choose the best method for them as every case is different. Having a personalized program is essential.
What parents can do to help
If your child has Dyslexia, you can often feel helpless. There are multiple ways in which you can help at home. Start reading aloud of your child as young as you can, even six months and younger can make a massive difference to their vocabulary. If you are not comfortable with reading aloud yourself, then playing a recorded book with your child can be an effective method. Work side by side with your child’s school to ensure that you can proceed with the same techniques at home to avoid confusion. Scheduling in reading time each day can encourage your child to read that will improve their literacy skills. You could do this by reading something of your own while your child read their book. This shows that you are there to support your child, and they will see that reading is an enjoyable activity to do together.
Support your child
Finding ways to support your child without being intimidating can be difficult. Expressing your love and support when they are reading or talking can help build their skills and show their strengths. This can be done by having conversations with your child regularly.
Designating a specific time of day to help them at home by organizing a place and time for your child to study. This space is then known as a place of work rather than play. This also means limiting the amount of time they spend on electronic screens and swapping them for reading practice.
If you are feeling alone at this time, then joining a support group can help you massively to provide useful information and emotional support. Building you and your child’s relationship to helping their strengths and weaknesses.
Hopefully, with this guide, you will be able to find different learning techniques to learn your child’s Dyslexia. Whether that is having support from a school such as CLOI’s Dyslexia PD. They offer comfort and personalized methods to help your child. And changing up your home environment to allow your child’s reading and writing to grow and improve.
Whether your child is leaving for college soon or they are coming towards the end of their studies, ensuring you support your child in the right way, not just in a professional sense but in an emotional sense as well, can prove to be a wide-ranging subject. Ultimately, there is a massive transition from college to the real world. For anybody that has been through college education and has now come out on the other side, they may tell you just how much of a shock to the system it is to go into the real world. So what can you do to make sure that you support your child in the right way when they are transitioning toward independence after graduation?
Will Additional Qualifications Help At This Point?
Many people decide to move on to a master’s course after their degree. For some, this can be prolonging the eventuality of going into the real world. But it all depends on the degree that your child initially undertook. If they’ve got a very clear-cut career plan but they need to acquire a master’s in system design & management or a niche subject, it’s vital that they work towards this. The best thing you can do if your child is adamant about completing extra qualifications is to make sure that they’ve researched their career choice at every angle.
Encouraging Them To Find The Best First Job
Some parents feel that their child needs to get any job after they come out of college, but this can be a huge mistake. If your child is not continuing their education, you should encourage them to explore a wide variety of opportunities. Many people these days decide to accept a job for the sake of it, but this means that they could very well get stuck in a professional rut. And even if you, as the parent, have been in the same position before, it’s essential to encourage them to diversify their efforts. Encourage them to make strategic decisions from the outset. This could mean undertaking career questionnaires or helping them to realize what skills they have right now that lend to a specific profession.
Remember To Take A Step Back
They are your child, and you want the best for them, but you have to remember that you can’t force them to do something. If you feel the need to go down a particular direction, they will likely do the opposite. Think about your emotions and keep them in check. Manage their moods rather than trying to force them down a specific path. After college, your child can feel somewhat empty in-between that chasm of finishing their education to starting a career. There will naturally be bumps in the roads, and they may feel the pressure to get on to the “right” career right away. The best thing that you can do is to take a step back and also realize where you are helicopter parenting.
Even if you went straight into work, you have to remember just how much a shock to the system it can be going from years of education to the real world. They worked hard at getting their qualification, and now they want to make sure that it counts. The best thing you can do for them at this point is to be supportive of their decisions.
These have certainly been times of upheaval. Students were told to finish the year at home. Parents scrambled to help their teens adjust. Graduations were cancelled and even college plans are uncertain. But that doesn’t mean you can’t prepare for the day when they will leave for college.
It seems like only yesterday you are dropping your child off at their first class, and they are upset about leaving you. But now your child has decided to go off to college and will be leaving you without so much as a wave before long. But this is a wonderful testament to the job you have done as a parent up to now, and it’s hard to forget just how much you have done for them, and How they are so successful already from your support and their hard work. There are a few things you can do to make sure that you have prepared yourself for the big day, and that you don’t end up too upset when it happens. Our children taking the plunge and becoming independent is something special, and something to be proud of. So what can you do to prepare yourself for this transition?
Be proud
Be proud of your child’s achievements. Sharing this with the world and your family and friends is important, and showing your child that you are proud of them will do great things for their confidence. It isn’t always about academic achievements of course, but it does show a certain level of resilience and confidence, as well as a hard-working nature to gain a place in a college. Making sure that you don’t forget the role you have played in getting into this point, and congratulating yourself for the great support you have given your child along the way, is important. So never feel as though you are going too far by showing your pride in your children.
Prepare practicalities
Making sure that all of the practicalities such as student accommodation and the small details are covered when it comes to preparing your child for college, will give you a sense of confidence that everything is taken care of. You can, of course, continue to support your child once they have left for college, and many people do send care packages on a regular basis. But making sure that your child knows where they are going, what they are doing, and they have the support there if they need it, will help you relax and feel much better about the whole situation.
Be there
Being there when your child needs you, or even when they don’t, is all we can do. Sometimes they will act as though they don’t need any support whatsoever, and this may be true for many grown-up children spreading their wings, and if we have done our jobs correctly then they really should be quite independent anyway, but just being ready to take a call, or be there when they need you, it’s going to be the most important job you can do when your child is going off to college. Being there is our number one role once all the basics of parenting are done, we teach them everything we can to a certain age, And then must take a step back to just support when needed. You will find that even the most independent college children will feel as though they have got everything under control, but we can always be there ready to catch them if they fall.
If you have a student in college and you are hoping for them to do as well as possible, there are things that you might be able to do to help them along. While you should mostly let them do it on their own, that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t be encouraging them or offering them just the right amount of help – so long as you don’t get overly involved, that is, and you still let them achieve it by themselves. If you want to help your children pass their college exams, there are a number of things you can do to ensure that they are much more likely to, so let’s look at what those might be.
Stress Busting
One of the main things you can do for them is to show them how to deal with the exam stress. All children get stressed when it comes to exam time, and it is a natural part of the process that they are going to have to find a way to deal with. A little stress is not even too much of a bad thing; it shows how important the situation is, and it has been known to help people work to their fullest degree where necessary. But too much stress is definitely a problem, and you can help them by showing them how to keep stress at bay. Keeping calm, breathing deeply, and getting plenty of sleep are all good ways of doing this.
Getting Help
If you feel that your child really needs it, you might also want to think about getting them some extra education which they can make use of. If your child is falling back in English, for instance, then hiring a private English tutor could be all you need to do to make sure that they are going to get back on track, or even get ahead of their peers. However, it’s not a competition, and the main thing is that you should be trying to help them get to a point where they are confident they will pass their exams. If you can do that, you will find that they will have a much higher chance of success.
Study Skills
When it comes to the actual preparation for the exams, you can help them there too, even if they are living on campus and you are not seeing them in person. If they can learn from you how to properly prepare for exams, then that is going to do them very well, and you will find that they are going to have a much better time of it in general. That is absolutely something that you are going to want to think about if you are particularly keen for them to achieve great things. Good exam preparation is something that can be learned, so make sure that you are helping them wherever necessary in learning it before they have their exams.
With all the talk of helicopter parenting, over parenting, snowplow
parenting and parents refusing to allow their students become independent
adults, it’s important to understand how to coach your teenager without crossing
the line.
A recent article in Business
Insider quoted a study conducted by Florida State University focusing on
some of the issues with today’s parenting:
Helicopter parents are “overly
involved, protective parents who provide substantial support (e.g., financial,
emotional, physical health advice) to their emerging adult children, often
intervening in their affairs and making decisions for them.”
“Individuals with parents who
engage in highly controlling, overprotective behaviors have been characterized
as being overly needy in terms of seeking attention, approval and direction
from others,” the authors wrote in summarizing past research. “In addition,
they have been found to utilize more ineffective coping skills, express higher
levels of narcissism and demonstrate lower self-efficacy.”
In contrast…
“Developmentally appropriate
parenting can promote healthy decision-making and a child’s development of
autonomy, increasing the likelihood that their children will become
independent, well-adjusted, problem-solving adults. They tend to cope better
with stress, have more self-esteem and experience less depression.”
Knowing this…
What is a parent’s role during the college prep
process?
I will give you 10 coaching steps to take for a positive college prep experience.
Step 1-Offer guidance and advice.
Parents are primarily coaches—coaching and directing their teenager during high school so that they will be prepared to apply to and eventually attend college. It’s natural to take this role in parenting and it works well in the area of college prep.
Your teenager may not always
ask, but they will need advice during this stressful time. Listen to their
concerns and offer guidance and advice. Listening is the key because teenagers
don’t always communicate what they are feeling and don’t always ask for help.
The next thing parents need to
do is…
Step 2-Establish
boundaries.
Early during the college prep process, have a serious
conversation with your student.
Because of the insurmountable number of tasks involved with
college prep, your student will need your help. The key word here is, “help”.
One admissions officer told me, “Let your student drive the car”. It won’t be
easy to let your student take control of the process, but this is part of the
training they will need to be successful in college.
Next, we will discuss exactly how you can help.
Step 3-Be
an encourager and a helper.
Be an encourager by reminding your student of deadlines,
from test registration to FAFSA and application submission. Encourage them to stay
on top of every task and suggest creating a timeline for each task.
Parents can participate in just about every activity during
college prep.
You can help with organization by establishing a college
landing zone. A place where you and your student can keep track of all
college-related information.
You can help with test prep—practicing vocabulary words,
administering practice tests, and hiring a tutor if necessary. You can also
help them create a study schedule to prepare for the tests.
You can help your student create a college list. What is at
the top of their list? What are they interested in studying? What career
interests them? What college activities outside of academics are important?
Does location or size matter? Use these questions to begin crafting the list.
You can participate in college visits by planning the
visits, traveling with them, and discussing the visits afterwards, Under no
circumstances should you take control during any aspect of the campus visit,
from the tour to the interviews.
Scholarship searching can be a daunting task for any busy
student. Parents can help by searching for the scholarships, making sure all
the components of the scholarship application are completed, proofreading any
essays, and making sure they are submitted correctly and on time.
Once the applications have been submitted you can participate in the final decision. Weigh all the financial aid offers against one another and help your student choose the college that is the best fit: academically, socially and financially. This is an important part of coaching.
Step
4-Teach life skills.
Teenagers need time and priority management skills,
conflict management skills, and effective communication skills. They need to
know when and how to ask for help, they need to effectively maneuver the
college bureaucracy, and they need to operate on a budget and manage their
money. They need to self-advocate and have the self-discipline to stay safe.
Step
5-Teach Academic skills.
Students should start college with strong study skills.
They need to be able to write a well-researched and documented, accurate,
organized, and well-written paper. They need to start college prepared to
attend all their classes, read the assigned materials, and know how to take
notes. They need to be prepared to pursue study groups, additional review
periods, or other options such as seeking out their teachers when they have
questions and need help.
Step
6-Model behavior
Parents should be involved in their teenager’s school by
participating in parent-teacher meetings and similar events, judging their
student’s academic strengths and weaknesses, and pushing them to get help when
they need it. Parents should make expectations and rules clear for both
academics and behavior, and follow through on reasonable consequences. Parents
should give their teenagers graduated responsibilities, teach them to budget,
and make them responsible when they make mistakes.
Step 7-Educate yourself about everything to do with college prep
In order to be the “wise
sage”, you need to educate yourself about all aspects of college prep. And in
today’s age of technology and social media, you have all the tools available to
do this. Take advantage of all the college prep advice on social media
(Twitter, Facebook, and even Pinterest) have all sorts of tips for parents to
help with college prep. Subscribe to blogs that provide parents with advice and
connect with other parents on Facebook who are going through the same process.
On my blog, I offer numerous
lists of experts to follow on social media, along with advice from college
counselors, test prep tutors, essay experts and admissions officers. These tips
help parents stay on top of all the college prep tasks and stay educated about
any changes in standardized tests, admissions or financial aid.
Step
8-Have the money talk
Parents
should have a serious conversation with their student about money before even
applying to colleges. Approach it as a collaborative discussion and use
this as a start to helping your teen understand the importance of budgeting and
“needs vs wants”.
Start
off by making sure your teen knows what a “need” is and what a “want”
is in relation to college costs. For some teens, all wants are needs. This
is the time to nail the definition down and clarify it in their minds.
Decide
just who will be paying for each college expense. Every family is
different but it’s important to make this clear from the very beginning so that
there won’t be any surprises.
Use a budget worksheet and understand ALL college expenses. Don’t just assume
that tuition, room and board will cover it. There will be additional costs as
well like travel, entertainment, dorm furnishings, student fees and others. Be
sure to budget for these additional expenses.
When
your teens contribute to the costs of their education, they will be more
invested in their success. They will also learn valuable budgeting lessons that
will stick with them past college and into adulthood. You’re doing your teen a
disservice if you don’t involve them in the college financial discussions. They
need to be active participants in the decisions and also play an active part in
paying for that high-cost college education.
Step
9-Make financial aid a priority.
Even if you can afford to pay for college, why would you
use the money if your student can get some of the free money from scholarships
and grants? It makes sense to apply for scholarships. Scholarships are
available for all ages and students should start applying early, even before
senior year. There are scholarships for students with average grades, and
scholarships that don’t require a GPA or even an essay. Sign up for scholarship
search engines to find scholarship matches. Leave no stone unturned: search
locally, ask friends, talk to your student’s school counselor and listen to the
media. Scholarships are literally everywhere, and many local ones go unclaimed
every year.
When your student is a senior, complete the FAFSA. The
FAFSA is the key to getting not only federal aid, but aid from the colleges
themselves. Much of the college aid is merit based but your student won’t
receive it if they don’t submit the FAFSA.
Next…
Step
10-Participate in the final decision.
Once your student is accepted to colleges, due your due diligence
and compare all the financial aid awards. If one award is higher than another
and your student wants to attend that college, appeal the lower award using the
higher award as leverage. Find the college that is the best fit: academically,
socially and financially. Don’t allow your student to take on high amounts of
debt just because it’s the college he or she wants to attend. Be the voice of
reason and explain the consequences of graduating with too much student loan
debt…
Now, some final words of advice…
Nag
less and listen more
You will be tempted to nag: write this, apply to this, study
for this, and search for this. Nagging will only cause strife and stress for
you and your student. Instead, listen to his concerns, his visions, and his dreams.
Listen carefully to ascertain whether or not college is the best choice. Listen
to him talk about how he feels about the entire college prep process. And once
you’ve listened, guide him — don’t nag.
Do
less and encourage more
Avoid the temptation to take over the process. As one
admissions officer told me, “Let your student drive the car.” You can be a
coach, an advisor, a mentor and an attentive listener. You can also help with
data gathering, scholarship searching, and deadline reminders. But under no
circumstances should this process be yours. Let your student own his own
future.
Compare
less and research more
Don’t listen to other parents who want you to compare your
student to theirs. This is you and your student’s journey. Do your research.
Ask the experts. Don’t rely on hearsay to make your decisions. Your student is unique,
and his journey will be unique. Arm yourself with all the information and tools
to help with the process. Then pass it along to your student.
Panic
less and plan more
If there’s one piece of advice I give parents, it’s this:
stay organized and don’t miss any deadlines. Make a plan throughout high school
and follow the plan. Once your student enters senior year, you should be
organized and ready to begin the application process.
You may have seen them; memes about plagiarism checkers pop up here and there. They either scoff at the tools’ malfunction or the distrust they provoke. What triggers such a reaction?
Plagiarism checking has become an integral part of the evaluation of papers, and now students’ perception of academic dishonesty has changed. More of them know how to cite, whether it’s appropriate, and how to avoid accidental plagiarism. The problem, however, is that a great many peers look for ways to beat the tools or still believe that plagiarism isn’t a big deal when it occurs only occasionally.
There must be something that forces them to think along these lines. As it turns out, it’s the pressure to succeed and the stress it causes. One study, “The Effect of Anti-plagiarism Software on Students’ Plagiarizing Behaviour” reveals that 59% of the surveyed students feel pressure when being checked, and 41% either think that plagiarism tools aren’t a necessity, or they feel neutral about them.
These attitudes toward plagiarism checkers are quite understandable. Just imagine yourself taking a lie detector test—would you feel anxious? More than likely.
But these attitudes may prevent your children from improving their writing skills. After all, checkers shouldn’t be making students obey, like a sort of policing agency. Instead, they should educate and point them in the right direction. So, let’s treat checkers as helpers rather than accusers.
What follows are some arguments that can help relieve the stress that college students face and let them see the value in using a plagiarism prevention tool.
Stop stressing about being checked for plagiarism
Stress is the response to a challenge—the challenge of getting good grades, maintaining a scholarship, or meeting their parents’ expectations.
The stress of being checked is a response to uncertainty or lack of understanding of what constitutes plagiarism, how to conduct research, what sources to use, how many of them should be enough, etc. If the knowledge gap grows, students experience more stress at college. So, one of the most effective stress management techniques is to learn to write without the threat plagiarism, accidental or otherwise.
This video by The Texas A&M University Writing Center sheds some light on writing with integrity and provides comprehensive advice on how to do it right:
If anxiety is still difficult to overcome, parents need to act proactively and explain why there’s no need to stress out.
So, why is being checked a normal thing?
Equal opportunities. Educational institutions lay special emphasis on academic integrity. This is a kind of ethical code that ensures everyone behaves responsibly. No cheating, no unauthorized collaboration, no plagiarism. By checking for originality, a college or university creates equal conditions for all. If a student makes every effort to write originally, others should also attempt to be honest.
Learning moments. Advanced plagiarism prevention solutions provide reports that contain all sorts of information about the scanned paper: a score for text matches, a list of sources used, quotes made, etc. Some of these reports also highlight references and citations, which makes it simple to see what citations are incorrect, if any sources need attribution, and more. Students can quickly get a handle on what’s right and what’s wrong to avoid making the same mistakes in the future.
Developing student voice. When students write originally, they begin to develop their own voice. Students can’t simply stuff essays or theses with quotes or research data provided by outside sources without providing their original thoughts. Plagiarism checking pushes students to not rely heavily on the opinions of others, and that’s a good point.
How can plagiarism checkers encourage fair assessment?
Plagiarism checkers alone can’t motivate students to write with integrity, but they can create favorable conditions for fair assessment.
If everyone knows that they won’t receive good grades for plagiarized works, they’re more likely to take the effort to write originally.
To fully assess work, teachers need to involve students in the process. Plagiarism prevention tools make this simple. Students can check the work of their peers, exchange reports, give advice on how to cite properly, and add more original insights. By doing so, students grow their confidence in writing and, therefore, become less inclined to cheat.
Fair assessment with plagiarism prevention software helps students take control of their learning success and boosts their responsibility.
What makes originality detectors irreplaceable assistants?
Apart from being great motivators, originality detectors can help students to avoid accidental plagiarism and the recycling of their own writings.
Essays, research, reviews, or any other type of written assignment requires a high level of concentration. If students are too pressed for time, they may forget to include sources in the reference list or fail to put someone’s words into quotation marks.
This oversight leads to a lot of stress and anxiety. Here’s when a plagiarism checker likeUnicheck can be of great help to students. Advanced tools usually deliver search results in the blink of an eye and provide hyperlinks to matching sources. As a rule, navigating such reports is quite straightforward, and you can always use the tools to educate your child and show your support that way.
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Note: I was provided access to the Unicheck software to test it myself. I found it helpful in determining whether content was original. It provides you with the exact text that is similar, along with checking any citations and/or references in the article. In my opinion, this software would be a beneficial tool for your college student.
You’ve done all the prep work, you have checked out all the colleges of interest for your teenager, made the applications and now after all the hard work is over, they have accepted a space at the college of their choice. You could be mistaken for thinking that all your hard work is over and you can relax safe in the knowledge you helped your offspring navigate the next part of the education journey.
We all know there is nothing that equals the experience your child will have at college. It is where thy will learn to fend for themselves and learn skills to carry with them for the rest of their lives. But honestly, before they leave there are some important life skills you can teach them so they can make the most of their time at college equipped with the knowledge they need for encountering new and different situations and the skills to help them become self-sufficient before they need to be. They may not take it all on board, or put their new-found skills into practice regularly, but you rest easy in the knowledge that you have helped them as much as you can before they spread their wings.
So what are the best life skills you can teach your child before they leave for university? How do you train your teenager to “adult”?
Money Matters.
Some people are just naturally good when it comes to managing their finances, others need a little bit of help. For a lot of kids, this will be the first time in their lives that they are solely responsible for money and making sure they spend it wisely.
Teaching them how to budget and make their money last is an essential life skill for everyone these days. From having enough money for food to last them from one term to the next, or paycheck to paycheck if they are employed, is something they can take with them through their college years and beyond. Instilling the necessity of paying bills on time and making sure they can afford any lines of credit they open.
Hand in hand with managing money comes dealing with debt and financial worries. With the average American currently, $38,000 in debt, knowing how to get out of debt and what to do is just as important as money management skills. Knowing who to contact with regards to debt advice and solutions such as consulting professionals in debt management like McCarthy Law PLC is handy information as is making sure they know how to be financially responsible.
Chores.
As hard as it can be to get kids to do their chores, there are some practical things they need to know to help them on their way to being self-sufficient. Being able to keep their dorm room tidy and other areas they need to use. Teach them life skills by getting them to help you out so they know what they are doing when they need to do it themselves.
Keep in mind these tips on what to teach your teen before they leave for college.
Laundry including what detergents and softeners they need too.
Ironing and using an iron safely.
Vacuuming
Washing dishes.
Mopping floors
Grocery Shopping
If your child hasn’t pitched in with the grocery shop before, this is a great time to teach them the best ways to get more for their money. Giving them advice on what prices they can expect to pay, how to store different food types and the benefits of preparing food from scratch if they can is highly beneficial.
Show them how to make a list and what cupboard essentials they need to have in at all times. Sure, they may go on to live on a diet of junk food alone, but they will know how to shop well and efficiently for what they buy.
Cooking.
Whilst it is true that most students have a ramen heavy diet, that isn’t true for everyone. Teaching them how to prepare some simple basic meals can ensure they know how to eat properly and nutritiously during their time away from home. Simple pasta meals such as spaghetti Bolognese or your family favourites can really help out. It will also give you peace of mind that they are able to prepare healthy homemade meals as they would eat at home.
Once they have mastered the basics, they can then build on this over the years.
Time Management Skills
College days will be full and busy. Add a part-time job, extracurricular activities and social lives and suddenly those long days leave little time for studying or much else really. Time management is a life skill that they will need to learn when they are employed so why not teach them this early before they have to figure it out when it’s too late.
Run through a schedule with them and make realistic plans that include moving from place to place, and how long they have to spend on certain tasks. This will help them break their day down into easier more manageable chunks meaning they can help themselves not only reduce stress but increase efficiency too.
Words of Wisdom.
As an adult and parent, you have had many different life experiences. Maybe you have some words of wisdom from your college days or you can share some other life tips you have picked up. Show your child how to apply for a job and how to interview well to give them the best shot at gaining employment now and in the future too.
Teach them how to pay bills and stay on top of this. Skills such as minor car repairs eg changing a tyre, small DIY tasks – putting up a shelf, changing light bulbs, fixing broken items around the house or even upcycling old and worn items can all come in handy. Think of what you were taught at that age, or do you wish you had known and spend the time sharing this with your college-age child.
Elation! That is the normal parental reaction when your child first received their acceptance email for college. Although, even while they are running around the house cheering, a parent’s thoughts can turn to worry. Of course, it is a parent’s lot to protect their child, and that does mean some worry along the way. However, being stressed before they have even left is only going to make it harder on everybody involved, including your kid. Luckily, there are some strategies you can use to keep parental stress to a minimum when your kids go off to college. Something that can ensure the whole process is easier on you as well as your child. Read on to find out what they are.
Be sure to shop around for student loans.
Money is often a prime concern when it’s time to send your child off to study for a degree. It fact, it can be difficult for all parties involved if families cannot provide tuition and living costs needed. Of course, with many colleges charging anything up to $30,000 for a single year, few families have enough to cover the entire cost of their child’s education.
There are a few ways to combat this, though. One, in particular, is shopping around for the best rate on student loans. In fact, it is entirely possible to use multiple loan providers for smaller amounts that total the sum needed. A strategy that can help to make a substantial saving overall. Something that, in turn, can relieve some of the stress on parents to provide all of the funding for their child’s higher education.
Get them the safest accommodation.
Next, you can really help to minimize any stress for yourself as a parent by making your child has the safest accommodation possible. After all, it is well known there is a culture of both theft and assault in such institutions. One that you will want to do your best to protect them from.
Of course, when they have to share a room on campus, protecting them can be difficult. Although, finding your child a space to live like this student accommodation studio can help to solve this puzzle. The reason being that they can happily, and affordable live alone and have the security of CCTV and security lockable rooms as well. Something that will not only make them feel safer when they are home alone but can seriously reduce any worry for parents as well.
Teach them to budget beforehand.
Of course, sourcing the money they need for college is only one half of the coin. In fact, if you want to reduce your stress as a parent in this situation, you must teach your child how to budget as well.
After all, if they can manage their own finances at college competently, the likelihood of you being asking to bail them out economically becomes a lot less. Something that can significantly reduce the amount of worry and stress you experience while they are away studying for their degree.
The late teenage and young adult years have one thing in common, likely one thing we, you and many more have experienced. That’s insecurity. It’s not easy to consider where your place in the world should be, particularly as you also have to have your direction somewhat considered before you even put a step out into the world. This is where self-limiting beliefs can come from and hinder your teen from pursuing their dreams.
But unfortunately, a lack of wanting to try or a fear of going for our dreams can leave us feeling extremely regretful, even by the age of 30. While you cannot force your child down a certain path, nor should you, you can certainly help them alleviate some of the symptoms of this insecurity, even if you can’t completely stop them from feeling that way at all.
It takes a little care, compassion, and empathy. If you can understand that, then you never know just how they could bloom, or how your bond could grow.
Can & Cannot
It takes a little care, compassion, and empathy. If you can understand that, then you never know just how they could bloom, or how your bond could grow.
When you say you can or cannot do something, you’re usually right both times. It’s important to never dismiss something just because it seems hard, or because someone else might have done it better, or simply because you have a disadvantage. There are people who are born into terrible circumstances who still manage to pull their lives together and graduate from high school, or get into a school of their choosing. It’s important for you to allow your child to know this, and to talk them through it. What are their dreams? How do they regard their ability? Do they know what they’ll need to do to get there? On top of that, where are their ‘can’ and ‘cannots’ coming into play? How might you persuade or dissuade them from that advantage point? A little encouragement can be very worthwhile here.
Inspiration
A little inspiration can be a true help in giving a young adult the tools to see where possibility lies. For example, they might be very interested in attending a certain musical college. However, they might feel insecure about pursuing this. Only when having that experience personified through someone profoundly inspiring, such as learning the Bishop Briggs story, does it click into place. This will help a young person see themselves achieving something similar. And there’s nothing wrong with that.
Trying Again
It’s not failing that produces failure. It’s giving up and accepting the failing as an end consequence. If you can help your child learn this kind of tenacity, through sports, through cleaning the house, through any other activity, chore or job they might be involved with – you can help them see that even if things go wrong, they can always try again, and will be better off for the effort. Often, removing self-limiting beliefs is best helped when teaching our children that a mistake is no great terrible event – it can be learned from and moved past.
With this advice, we hope you’re able to provide a sense of security and encouragement to your child as they decide their next steps into the world of adulthood.
