Tag Archives: parenting

college planning, parenting

Coaching Your College-Bound Teen

coaching

With all the talk of helicopter parenting, over parenting, snowplow parenting and parents refusing to allow their students become independent adults, it’s important to understand how to coach your teenager without crossing the line.

A recent article in Business Insider quoted a study conducted by Florida State University focusing on some of the issues with today’s parenting:

Helicopter parents are “overly involved, protective parents who provide substantial support (e.g., financial, emotional, physical health advice) to their emerging adult children, often intervening in their affairs and making decisions for them.” 

“Individuals with parents who engage in highly controlling, overprotective behaviors have been characterized as being overly needy in terms of seeking attention, approval and direction from others,” the authors wrote in summarizing past research. “In addition, they have been found to utilize more ineffective coping skills, express higher levels of narcissism and demonstrate lower self-efficacy.”

In contrast…

“Developmentally appropriate parenting can promote healthy decision-making and a child’s development of autonomy, increasing the likelihood that their children will become independent, well-adjusted, problem-solving adults. They tend to cope better with stress, have more self-esteem and experience less depression.”

Knowing this…

What is a parent’s role during the college prep process?

How can you successfully coach your college bound student?  

I will give you 10 coaching steps to take for a positive college prep experience.

Step 1-Offer guidance and advice.

Parents are primarily coaches—coaching and directing their teenager during high school so that they will be prepared to apply to and eventually attend college. It’s natural to take this role in parenting and it works well in the area of college prep.

Your teenager may not always ask, but they will need advice during this stressful time. Listen to their concerns and offer guidance and advice. Listening is the key because teenagers don’t always communicate what they are feeling and don’t always ask for help.

The next thing parents need to do is…

Step 2-Establish boundaries.

Early during the college prep process, have a serious conversation with your student.

Because of the insurmountable number of tasks involved with college prep, your student will need your help. The key word here is, “help”. One admissions officer told me, “Let your student drive the car”. It won’t be easy to let your student take control of the process, but this is part of the training they will need to be successful in college.

Next, we will discuss exactly how you can help.

Step 3-Be an encourager and a helper.

Be an encourager by reminding your student of deadlines, from test registration to FAFSA and application submission. Encourage them to stay on top of every task and suggest creating a timeline for each task.

Parents can participate in just about every activity during college prep.

You can help with organization by establishing a college landing zone. A place where you and your student can keep track of all college-related information.

You can help with test prep—practicing vocabulary words, administering practice tests, and hiring a tutor if necessary. You can also help them create a study schedule to prepare for the tests.

You can help your student create a college list. What is at the top of their list? What are they interested in studying? What career interests them? What college activities outside of academics are important? Does location or size matter? Use these questions to begin crafting the list.

You can participate in college visits by planning the visits, traveling with them, and discussing the visits afterwards, Under no circumstances should you take control during any aspect of the campus visit, from the tour to the interviews.

Scholarship searching can be a daunting task for any busy student. Parents can help by searching for the scholarships, making sure all the components of the scholarship application are completed, proofreading any essays, and making sure they are submitted correctly and on time.

Once the applications have been submitted you can participate in the final decision. Weigh all the financial aid offers against one another and help your student choose the college that is the best fit: academically, socially and financially. This is an important part of coaching.

Step 4-Teach life skills.

Teenagers need time and priority management skills, conflict management skills, and effective communication skills. They need to know when and how to ask for help, they need to effectively maneuver the college bureaucracy, and they need to operate on a budget and manage their money. They need to self-advocate and have the self-discipline to stay safe.

Step 5-Teach Academic skills.

Students should start college with strong study skills. They need to be able to write a well-researched and documented, accurate, organized, and well-written paper. They need to start college prepared to attend all their classes, read the assigned materials, and know how to take notes. They need to be prepared to pursue study groups, additional review periods, or other options such as seeking out their teachers when they have questions and need help.

Step 6-Model behavior

Parents should be involved in their teenager’s school by participating in parent-teacher meetings and similar events, judging their student’s academic strengths and weaknesses, and pushing them to get help when they need it. Parents should make expectations and rules clear for both academics and behavior, and follow through on reasonable consequences. Parents should give their teenagers graduated responsibilities, teach them to budget, and make them responsible when they make mistakes.

Step 7-Educate yourself about everything to do with college prep

In order to be the “wise sage”, you need to educate yourself about all aspects of college prep. And in today’s age of technology and social media, you have all the tools available to do this. Take advantage of all the college prep advice on social media (Twitter, Facebook, and even Pinterest) have all sorts of tips for parents to help with college prep. Subscribe to blogs that provide parents with advice and connect with other parents on Facebook who are going through the same process.

On my blog, I offer numerous lists of experts to follow on social media, along with advice from college counselors, test prep tutors, essay experts and admissions officers. These tips help parents stay on top of all the college prep tasks and stay educated about any changes in standardized tests, admissions or financial aid.

Step 8-Have the money talk

Parents should have a serious conversation with their student about money before even applying to colleges. Approach it as a collaborative discussion and use this as a start to helping your teen understand the importance of budgeting and “needs vs wants”. 

  • Start off by making sure your teen knows what a “need” is and what a “want” is in relation to college costs. For some teens, all wants are needs. This is the time to nail the definition down and clarify it in their minds.
  • Decide just who will be paying for each college expense. Every family is different but it’s important to make this clear from the very beginning so that there won’t be any surprises.
  • Use a budget worksheet and understand ALL college expenses. Don’t just assume that tuition, room and board will cover it. There will be additional costs as well like travel, entertainment, dorm furnishings, student fees and others. Be sure to budget for these additional expenses.

When your teens contribute to the costs of their education, they will be more invested in their success. They will also learn valuable budgeting lessons that will stick with them past college and into adulthood. You’re doing your teen a disservice if you don’t involve them in the college financial discussions. They need to be active participants in the decisions and also play an active part in paying for that high-cost college education.

Step 9-Make financial aid a priority.

Even if you can afford to pay for college, why would you use the money if your student can get some of the free money from scholarships and grants? It makes sense to apply for scholarships. Scholarships are available for all ages and students should start applying early, even before senior year. There are scholarships for students with average grades, and scholarships that don’t require a GPA or even an essay. Sign up for scholarship search engines to find scholarship matches. Leave no stone unturned: search locally, ask friends, talk to your student’s school counselor and listen to the media. Scholarships are literally everywhere, and many local ones go unclaimed every year.

When your student is a senior, complete the FAFSA. The FAFSA is the key to getting not only federal aid, but aid from the colleges themselves. Much of the college aid is merit based but your student won’t receive it if they don’t submit the FAFSA.

Next…

Step 10-Participate in the final decision.

Once your student is accepted to colleges, due your due diligence and compare all the financial aid awards. If one award is higher than another and your student wants to attend that college, appeal the lower award using the higher award as leverage. Find the college that is the best fit: academically, socially and financially. Don’t allow your student to take on high amounts of debt just because it’s the college he or she wants to attend. Be the voice of reason and explain the consequences of graduating with too much student loan debt…

Now, some final words of advice…

Nag less and listen more

You will be tempted to nag: write this, apply to this, study for this, and search for this. Nagging will only cause strife and stress for you and your student. Instead, listen to his concerns, his visions, and his dreams. Listen carefully to ascertain whether or not college is the best choice. Listen to him talk about how he feels about the entire college prep process. And once you’ve listened, guide him — don’t nag.

Do less and encourage more

Avoid the temptation to take over the process. As one admissions officer told me, “Let your student drive the car.” You can be a coach, an advisor, a mentor and an attentive listener. You can also help with data gathering, scholarship searching, and deadline reminders. But under no circumstances should this process be yours. Let your student own his own future.

Compare less and research more

Don’t listen to other parents who want you to compare your student to theirs. This is you and your student’s journey. Do your research. Ask the experts. Don’t rely on hearsay to make your decisions. Your student is unique, and his journey will be unique. Arm yourself with all the information and tools to help with the process. Then pass it along to your student.

Panic less and plan more

If there’s one piece of advice I give parents, it’s this: stay organized and don’t miss any deadlines. Make a plan throughout high school and follow the plan. Once your student enters senior year, you should be organized and ready to begin the application process.

academics, college guidance, Guest Posts

Why Plagiarism Checkers are Essential for your Student

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plagiarism checkers

You may have seen them; memes about plagiarism checkers pop up here and there. They either scoff at the tools’ malfunction or the distrust they provoke. What triggers such a reaction?

Plagiarism checking has become an integral part of the evaluation of papers, and now students’ perception of academic dishonesty has changed. More of them know how to cite, whether it’s appropriate, and how to avoid accidental plagiarism. The problem, however, is that a great many peers look for ways to beat the tools or still believe that plagiarism isn’t a big deal when it occurs only occasionally.

There must be something that forces them to think along these lines. As it turns out, it’s the pressure to succeed and the stress it causes. One study, “The Effect of Anti-plagiarism Software on Students’ Plagiarizing Behaviour” reveals that 59% of the surveyed students feel pressure when being checked, and 41% either think that plagiarism tools aren’t a necessity, or they feel neutral about them.

These attitudes toward plagiarism checkers are quite understandable. Just imagine yourself taking a lie detector test—would you feel anxious? More than likely.

But these attitudes may prevent your children from improving their writing skills. After all, checkers shouldn’t be making students obey, like a sort of policing agency. Instead, they should educate and point them in the right direction. So, let’s treat checkers as helpers rather than accusers.

What follows are some arguments that can help relieve the stress that college students face and let them see the value in using a plagiarism prevention tool.

Stop stressing about being checked for plagiarism

Stress is the response to a challenge—the challenge of getting good grades, maintaining a scholarship, or meeting their parents’ expectations.

The stress of being checked is a response to uncertainty or lack of understanding of what constitutes plagiarism, how to conduct research, what sources to use, how many of them should be enough, etc. If the knowledge gap grows, students experience more stress at college. So, one of the most effective stress management techniques is to learn to write without the threat plagiarism, accidental or otherwise.

This video by The Texas A&M University Writing Center sheds some light on writing with integrity and provides comprehensive advice on how to do it right:

If anxiety is still difficult to overcome, parents need to act proactively and explain why there’s no need to stress out.

So, why is being checked a normal thing?

Equal opportunities. Educational institutions lay special emphasis on academic integrity. This is a kind of ethical code that ensures everyone behaves responsibly. No cheating, no unauthorized collaboration, no plagiarism. By checking for originality, a college or university creates equal conditions for all. If a student makes every effort to write originally, others should also attempt to be honest.

Learning moments. Advanced plagiarism prevention solutions provide reports that contain all sorts of information about the scanned paper: a score for text matches, a list of sources used, quotes made, etc. Some of these reports also highlight references and citations, which makes it simple to see what citations are incorrect, if any sources need attribution, and more. Students can quickly get a handle on what’s right and what’s wrong to avoid making the same mistakes in the future.

Developing student voice. When students write originally, they begin to develop their own voice. Students can’t simply stuff essays or theses with quotes or research data provided by outside sources without providing their original thoughts. Plagiarism checking pushes students to not rely heavily on the opinions of others, and that’s a good point.

How can plagiarism checkers encourage fair assessment?

Plagiarism checkers alone can’t motivate students to write with integrity, but they can create favorable conditions for fair assessment.

If everyone knows that they won’t receive good grades for plagiarized works, they’re more likely to take the effort to write originally.

To fully assess work, teachers need to involve students in the process. Plagiarism prevention tools make this simple. Students can check the work of their peers, exchange reports, give advice on how to cite properly, and add more original insights. By doing so, students grow their confidence in writing and, therefore, become less inclined to cheat.

Fair assessment with plagiarism prevention software helps students take control of their learning success and boosts their responsibility.

What makes originality detectors irreplaceable assistants?

Apart from being great motivators, originality detectors can help students to avoid accidental plagiarism and the recycling of their own writings.

Essays, research, reviews, or any other type of written assignment requires a high level of concentration. If students are too pressed for time, they may forget to include sources in the reference list or fail to put someone’s words into quotation marks.

This oversight leads to a lot of stress and anxiety. Here’s when a plagiarism checker like Unicheck can be of great help to students. Advanced tools usually deliver search results in the blink of an eye and provide hyperlinks to matching sources. As a rule, navigating such reports is quite straightforward, and you can always use the tools to educate your child and show your support that way. 

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Note: I was provided access to the Unicheck software to test it myself. I found it helpful in determining whether content was original. It provides you with the exact text that is similar, along with checking any citations and/or references in the article. In my opinion, this software would be a beneficial tool for your college student.

parenting

Training Your Teenager Before College

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You’ve done all the prep work, you have checked out all the colleges of interest for your teenager, made the applications and now after all the hard work is over, they have accepted a space at the college of their choice. You could be mistaken for thinking that all your hard work is over and you can relax safe in the knowledge you helped your offspring navigate the next part of the education journey.

We all know there is nothing that equals the experience your child will have at college. It is where thy will learn to fend for themselves and learn skills to carry with them for the rest of their lives. But honestly, before they leave there are some important life skills you can teach them so they can make the most of their time at college equipped with the knowledge they need for encountering new and different situations and the skills to help them become self-sufficient before they need to be. They may not take it all on board, or put their new-found skills into practice regularly, but you rest easy in the knowledge that you have helped them as much as you can before they spread their wings.

So what are the best life skills you can teach your child before they leave for university? How do you train your teenager to “adult”?

Money Matters.

Some people are just naturally good when it comes to managing their finances, others need a little bit of help. For a lot of kids, this will be the first time in their lives that they are solely responsible for money and making sure they spend it wisely.

Teaching them how to budget and make their money last is an essential life skill for everyone these days. From having enough money for food to last them from one term to the next, or paycheck to paycheck if they are employed, is something they can take with them through their college years and beyond. Instilling the necessity of paying bills on time and making sure they can afford any lines of credit they open.

Hand in hand with managing money comes dealing with debt and financial worries. With the average American currently, $38,000 in debt, knowing how to get out of debt and what to do is just as important as money management skills. Knowing who to contact with regards to debt advice and solutions such as consulting professionals in debt management like McCarthy Law PLC is handy information as is making sure they know how to be financially responsible.

Chores.

As hard as it can be to get kids to do their chores, there are some practical things they need to know to help them on their way to being self-sufficient. Being able to keep their dorm room tidy and other areas they need to use. Teach them life skills by getting them to help you out so they know what they are doing when they need to do it themselves.

Keep in mind these tips on what to teach your teen before they leave for college.

  • Laundry including what detergents and softeners they need too.
  • Ironing and using an iron safely.
  • Vacuuming
  • Washing dishes.
  • Mopping floors

Grocery Shopping

If your child hasn’t pitched in with the grocery shop before, this is a great time to teach them the best ways to get more for their money. Giving them advice on what prices they can expect to pay, how to store different food types and the benefits of preparing food from scratch if they can is highly beneficial.

Show them how to make a list and what cupboard essentials they need to have in at all times. Sure, they may go on to live on a diet of junk food alone, but they will know how to shop well and efficiently for what they buy.

Cooking.

Whilst it is true that most students have a ramen heavy diet, that isn’t true for everyone. Teaching them how to prepare some simple basic meals can ensure they know how to eat properly and nutritiously during their time away from home. Simple pasta meals such as spaghetti Bolognese or your family favourites can really help out. It will also give you peace of mind that they are able to prepare healthy homemade meals as they would eat at home.

Once they have mastered the basics, they can then build on this over the years.

Time Management Skills

College days will be full and busy. Add a part-time job, extracurricular activities and social lives and suddenly those long days leave little time for studying or much else really. Time management is a life skill that they will need to learn when they are employed so why not teach them this early before they have to figure it out when it’s too late.

Run through a schedule with them and make realistic plans that include moving from place to place, and how long they have to spend on certain tasks. This will help them break their day down into easier more manageable chunks meaning they can help themselves not only reduce stress but increase efficiency too.

Words of Wisdom.

As an adult and parent, you have had many different life experiences. Maybe you have some words of wisdom from your college days or you can share some other life tips you have picked up. Show your child how to apply for a job and how to interview well to give them the best shot at gaining employment now and in the future too.

Teach them how to pay bills and stay on top of this. Skills such as minor car repairs eg changing a tyre, small DIY tasks – putting up a shelf, changing light bulbs, fixing broken items around the house or even upcycling old and worn items can all come in handy. Think of what you were taught at that age, or do you wish you had known and spend the time sharing this with your college-age child.

empty nest, parenting

How Not To Stress When Your Child Goes To College

stress

Elation! That is the normal parental reaction when your child first received their acceptance email for college. Although, even while they are running around the house cheering, a parent’s thoughts can turn to worry. Of course, it is a parent’s lot to protect their child, and that does mean some worry along the way. However, being stressed before they have even left is only going to make it harder on everybody involved, including your kid. Luckily, there are some strategies you can use to keep parental stress to a minimum when your kids go off to college. Something that can ensure the whole process is easier on you as well as your child. Read on to find out what they are.

Be sure to shop around for student loans. 

Money is often a prime concern when it’s time to send your child off to study for a degree. It fact, it can be difficult for all parties involved if families cannot provide tuition and living costs needed. Of course, with many colleges charging anything up to $30,000 for a single year, few families have enough to cover the entire cost of their child’s education. 

There are a few ways to combat this, though. One, in particular, is shopping around for the best rate on student loans. In fact, it is entirely possible to use multiple loan providers for smaller amounts that total the sum needed. A strategy that can help to make a substantial saving overall. Something that, in turn, can relieve some of the stress on parents to provide all of the funding for their child’s higher education. 

Get them the safest accommodation. 

Next, you can really help to minimize any stress for yourself as a parent by making your child has the safest accommodation possible. After all, it is well known there is a culture of both theft and assault in such institutions. One that you will want to do your best to protect them from. 

Of course, when they have to share a room on campus, protecting them can be difficult. Although, finding your child a space to live like this student accommodation studio can help to solve this puzzle. The reason being that they can happily, and affordable live alone and have the security of CCTV and security lockable rooms as well. Something that will not only make them feel safer when they are home alone but can seriously reduce any worry for parents as well. 

Teach them to budget beforehand.

Of course, sourcing the money they need for college is only one half of the coin. In fact, if you want to reduce your stress as a parent in this situation, you must teach your child how to budget as well. 

After all, if they can manage their own finances at college competently, the likelihood of you being asking to bail them out economically becomes a lot less. Something that can significantly reduce the amount of worry and stress you experience while they are away studying for their degree.

careers, parenting

Encouraging Your Teen to Pursue Their Dreams

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dreams

The late teenage and young adult years have one thing in common, likely one thing we, you and many more have experienced. That’s insecurity. It’s not easy to consider where your place in the world should be, particularly as you also have to have your direction somewhat considered before you even put a step out into the world. This is where self-limiting beliefs can come from and hinder your teen from pursuing their dreams.

But unfortunately, a lack of wanting to try or a fear of going for our dreams can leave us feeling extremely regretful, even by the age of 30. While you cannot force your child down a certain path, nor should you, you can certainly help them alleviate some of the symptoms of this insecurity, even if you can’t completely stop them from feeling that way at all.

It takes a little care, compassion, and empathy. If you can understand that, then you never know just how they could bloom, or how your bond could grow.

Can & Cannot

It takes a little care, compassion, and empathy. If you can understand that, then you never know just how they could bloom, or how your bond could grow.

When you say you can or cannot do something, you’re usually right both times. It’s important to never dismiss something just because it seems hard, or because someone else might have done it better, or simply because you have a disadvantage. There are people who are born into terrible circumstances who still manage to pull their lives together and graduate from high school, or get into a school of their choosing. It’s important for you to allow your child to know this, and to talk them through it. What are their dreams? How do they regard their ability? Do they know what they’ll need to do to get there? On top of that, where are their ‘can’ and ‘cannots’ coming into play? How might you persuade or dissuade them from that advantage point? A little encouragement can be very worthwhile here.

Inspiration

A little inspiration can be a true help in giving a young adult the tools to see where possibility lies. For example, they might be very interested in attending a certain musical college. However, they might feel insecure about pursuing this. Only when having that experience personified through someone profoundly inspiring, such as learning the Bishop Briggs story, does it click into place. This will help a young person see themselves achieving something similar. And there’s nothing wrong with that.

Trying Again

It’s not failing that produces failure. It’s giving up and accepting the failing as an end consequence. If you can help your child learn this kind of tenacity, through sports, through cleaning the house, through any other activity, chore or job they might be involved with – you can help them see that even if things go wrong, they can always try again, and will be better off for the effort. Often, removing self-limiting beliefs is best helped when teaching our children that a mistake is no great terrible event – it can be learned from and moved past.

With this advice, we hope you’re able to provide a sense of security and encouragement to your child as they decide their next steps into the world of adulthood.

college prep, parenting

Summer Reading Suggestions-for parents of high school students

summer reading

The summer is half over, but if you’re lucky, you can steal some reading time. With a teenager in the house and college (or something else) on the horizon, a prepared parent is a less stressful parent. When school starts, you want every tool in your arsenal and these summer reading suggestions can help arm you for the task ahead.

College Bound and Gagged

Nancy takes the everyday aspects of the college admissions process and puts them into terms that parents can easily understand and relate to by using humor. And if that’s not enough, she sprinkles some of the best college admissions advice along the way by tapping into her own personal experiences and her network of college experts that she utilizes throughout the book.

DebtFreeU

When Zac Bissonnette headed off to college, he had the funds to cover the tab. Bissonnette has seen the currently flawed system first hand. He’s a contrarian, and his book is packed with studies and statistics to back up his analysis. It’s a magical combination that college-bound students and their parents should read, even if there’s plenty of money set aside to pay the tuition tab. There’s no harm in learning ways to get the biggest bang for your buck and the best education available at the same time.

How to Win College Scholarships

The best part about Monica’s e-book is that it’s simple and easy to understand. If you follow her easy 10 step program, the scholarship process becomes doable for any parent and their student. You can sit back and hope that your student does all the work, or you can offer help and support by grabbing a copy of Monica’s book, reading it, and rolling up your sleeves.

Toward College Success: Is Your Teenager Ready, Willing and Able

This is a book to help parents of middle and high school students. This book prods parents to ask if their teenager will be ready, willing, and able to handle self-management, personal safety, roommate conflicts, personal finances, interactions with teachers, academic responsibility, and much more. Included in this book are numerous interviews with parents, college students, school counselors and advisors, law enforcement per- sonnel, teachers, medical personnel, and school administrators. At the end of each chapter are examples of how parents can prepare their teenagers for a successful college experience and turn their students into confident, reponsible young adults.

25 Top Secrets Expensive College Consultants Reveal Only To Their Clients About College Admissions: Get An Unfair Advantage When Applying To College

For college admissions help, give your child that “unfair” advantage in applying to college, without cheating, offering bribes, using legacy, or giving donations. Here’s the kind of insider information that’s made the author’s own clients refer him to their friends for the past 17 years. It’s a free, fast and entertaining read that’s designed for the hard-bitten realist who takes nothing at face value, especially in light of the college admissions scandal of 2019. This ebook comes with an option to take advantage of the author’s free videos that are designed to expand and update the book’s content when necessary.

The College Solution

The second edition of The College Solution, which contains approximately 90% new material, is aimed at helping parents and teenagers become empowered consumers as they navigate through the college process. Billions of dollars are available to pay for college, but not everybody gets their share. It’s not always the families with the brightest students or the parents who are struggling financially who receive the most money. The College Solution shares the secrets of how you can capture some of this money for your own family. The book provides advice on such topics as financial aid, merit scholarships, athletic scholarships, admission hooks, the important differences between colleges and universities, college rankings, the best student loans and the latest online tools to evaluate the generosity of schools. O’Shaughnessy presents an easy-to-use, proven road map for getting past the ratings, and finding the right schools at the right price.

Getting In-Inside the College Admissions Process

I’ve read plenty of books on college admissions. Some are so scholarly heavy that you need a degree to figure them out. Others are so shallow you can find most of the material in your teen’s high school handouts. Zinch’s book is neither of the above. It’s geared toward the student, but is also extremely valuable from a parent’s perspective. Zinch reminds the student that while the college process often involves the entire family, the final choice must be their own. I agree with this whole heartedly. Every parent should grasp this truth.

Higher Education: How Colleges are Wasting Your Money

The authors observe how conventional universities are coming to resemble for-profit diploma mills through inexpensive, Orwellian-titled “distance learning.” At Florida Gulf Coast University on the outskirts of Fort Myers, students in Humanities 2510 sit in dormitories or at home studying painting, sculpture, and architecture via online lectures. Adjunct professors with modest credentials answer questions by e-mail; telephone calls are not allowed. Multiple-choice tests emphasize dry facts and figures. Short papers are required, but students don’t have to attend performances or see art in person. In lieu of customized grading, instructors draw on “sample stock comments” they slap on student papers. “Humanities 2510 seems close to cramming for a quiz show,” the authors write. To readers, it might just seem like a rip-off.

Secrets of a Financial Aid Pro

Jodi Okun’s book launched today and the presales put it on the Amazon #1 Best Seller list. This book is more than help for financial aid questions. In it you can find out how to give your student the financial skills they’ll need for life, with talking points and scripts to help you with important conversations you need to have before college. Jodi provides parents with expert advice and in this book shares her experiences of helping parents pay for college.

How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success

In this book, Julie Lythcott-Haims draws on research, on conversations with admissions officers, educators, and employers, and on her own insights as a mother and as a student dean to highlight the ways in which overparenting harms children, their stressed-out parents, and society at large. While empathizing with the parental hopes and, especially, fears that lead to overhelping, Lythcott-Haims offers practical alternative strategies that underline the importance of allowing children to make their own mistakes and develop the resilience, resourcefulness, and inner determination necessary for success.

Will College Pay Off?: A Guide to the Most Important Financial Decision You’ll Ever Make

College is the biggest expense for many families, larger even than the cost of the family home, and one that can bankrupt students and their parents if it works out poorly. Peter Cappelli offers vital insight for parents and students to make decisions that both make sense financially and provide the foundation that will help students make their way in the world. Adding to the confusion, the same degree can cost dramatically different amounts for different people. A barrage of advertising offers new degrees designed to lead to specific jobs, but we see no information on whether graduates ever get those jobs. Mix in a frenzied applications process, and pressure from politicians for “relevant” programs, and there is an urgent need to separate myth from reality.

Do What You Are: Discover the Perfect Career for You Through the Secrets of Personality Type

Using the world-renowned Meyers-Briggs personality testing system, the author leads the reader through a self-assessment to uncover their specific personality type. The results of this personality assessment suggest appropriate careers that are most suitable for the unique characteristics of each of the 16 personality types. By better understanding your strengths, you can be more open-minded and self-empowered in determining the focus of your career and your own needs when it comes to feeling satisfied.

college planning, college prep, parenting

Surviving a Busy summer

summer

If you have a high school student, especially one who is focused on the goal of attending college, your summers aren’t just vacations. Gone are the days when you took the kids to the pool, the library and the park. Gone are the days when your time was consumed with planning the summer family vacation and creating a chore chart for the kids to complete chores before play time.

You (and your teen) have other goals in mind.  You’re thinking about using the summer to take care of some college prep tasks to get ahead of the game. Searching for scholarships, doing some test prep, visiting colleges, and having some serious talks about money will consume your summer days. How do you survive?

Share the tasks

It’s unthinkable in this competitive college market to expect a young teen to handle it on their own. Times have changed since we applied to college and there is much more to do than simply apply. You can help them make decisions, help with scheduling, even do some detective work searching for scholarships they are eligible for. This will ease the burden on them and alleviate the overwhelming stress that most teens feel about college.

Schedule and plan

We all know that we don’t ever have the time for a task if we don’t make the time and schedule it. Use any planning tool that works best for your family: an online calendar, an app for your smartphones, a huge wall calendar or a Google doc. Everyone knows—without a plan, you plan to fail!

Stay organized

I’m a huge fan of a college landing zone—everything in one place. Colleges still send information through the mail, registration forms and receipts need to be printed and saved, and flyers about scholarships need to be catalogued and filed. With everything in one place, it’s easy to find anything related to your student’s college preparation.

Make time to talk…and listen

Conversations are crucial to staying on the same page with your teenager. Make the time to talk, even if it’s driving to sports practice or shopping together at the mall. These small conversations are key moments for you to gauge their temperature and share some encouragement. If stress is present, you can help relieve it. If they feel overwhelmed and need help, you’re there for them. Talking about their future and truly listening prepares you both for senior year when things will proceed at the speed of light.

Of course, you want to have fun this summer; but a little work and some focused preparation will make the next school year seem doable. Use the summer time wisely.

careers, gap year, parenting

Is your teen unsure about college?

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Not every student is excited about going to college. Is your teen unsure about college?

Sometimes they need a little push; and sometimes college just isn’t in their headlights. The simple truth is: The four-year college plan isn’t for everyone. For some young adults, the thought of college terrifies them. If they have struggled in school, they know college is going to be more academically challenging. Other students are simply burned out and need a break. But, with all the talk about college during high school, other options are rarely discussed.

What if your student simply won’t consider college?

My son never saw himself in college. He was an average student but from the time he entered high school, he had military aspirations. He joined the Naval Junior ROTC program and as a senior, he enlisted in the U.S. Marines. It was a good decision for him at the time, even though I protested strongly because I wanted him to go to college.

If your student seems disinterested in college, there are other options to consider. For example, a gap year might be in order. During a gap year or semester, students can work at an internship, learn a trade, or find a volunteer opportunity, at home or abroad. Another bold initiative would be to become an entrepreneur – start a business or invent a product to sell.

Your student might opt to work at a full-time job while researching career opportunities. There’s no better way to spark interest in a career path than to work in it for a bit. A career interest could spur them to research training opportunities or even consider college later down the road.

If your teen isn’t quite ready for college, here a few ideas from an article I wrote for TeenLife Media: Gap Years and Other Ideas for Teens Unsure About College.

parenting

Do your teens say you’re losing your hearing?

hearing

Parenthood is all about communication. Communication with your child, with your partner or co-parent, with your child’s school or college and with your own parents, friends, family and the people from whom you get your guidance and inspiration. But communication is a two way street. As we get older, hearing loss can put up a roadblock on our side of that street, making it harder to hear and understand when others communicate with us. The thing is, we rarely notice hearing loss, at least until it has already reached a point at which it has become fairly profound. Our hearing ebbs away so slowly and gradually that for some it may take years or even decades to realize that their hearing has become an issue. Here we’ll look at some of the signs that you’re losing your hearing without even knowing it, and what you can do to prevent it from impinging on your life and the quality of your relationships.

What causes hearing loss?


There are many different causes of hearing loss and it can affect us at any time in our lives (although it tends to become more common as we get older). Sometimes hearing loss is temporary and it takes nothing more than flushing out excess ear wax to return it to its usual clarity. Those who have noisy jobs or work with heavy machinery may also experience hearing loss if they don’t properly protect their ears. There are also hereditary conditions like Meniere’s disease which can also become detrimental to your hearing over time. And then sometimes it’s a simple matter of advancing years. Whatever the cause of your hearing loss, the longer you live in denial, the worse your quality of communication with your loved ones and your overall quality of life are likely to become. Forget the myths about hearing devices! A hearing aid can be a lifeline for your quality of communication with the people most important to you. Be sure to consult an audiologist if you notice any of the following…

Your kids keep asking you to turn down the TV while they study

You and your child have worked together to create a perfect study space which is conducive to relaxed, focused study and hard work. But unbeknownst to you, your deteriorating hearing is impinging on their studies. If they keep complaining that you have the TV, stereo or radio on too loud this could be a sign that all is not as it should be with your hearing.

Your loved ones get a little irritated when they keep having to repeat themselves

Have you ever noticed that people need to tell you the same thing two or three times before you’re able to understand it? Maybe not. It’s fairly common for people to ask one another to repeat themselves. However, there’s a chance that you’re doing this more than you think without even noticing. If you notice loved ones rolling their eyes or sighing when you ask them to repeat themselves, this could mean that your hearing loss is further along than you thought.

Social occasions that become an ordeal

When we have hearing loss, it becomes harder to pick out individual voices from the texture of background noise. As such, following a conversation in a busy bar, cafe or restaurant can become tiring and stressful. People with hearing loss tend not to get too involved in the conversation and hang back a little, smiling and nodding at what seem like appropriate moments. If this rings a little too true to you, you may well be affected by hearing loss.

If you’ve noticed any or all of the above taking place recently you owe it to yourself, your kids and your loved ones to talk to someone about your hearing loss.  

college prep, parenting

Conversations before college

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before college

High school graduation is upon you and you and your student are looking forward toward college and a very busy summer. Amidst all the parties and preparation, it’s crucial that you spend some time dispensing “parental” advice in a way they will listen and take it to heart.

Don’t sit them down for “the talk” because they will simply tune you out. Take advantage of snippets of time to cover these important topics either for the first time or as a refresher before college.

Pick your friends carefully

College friends have a great impact on a student’s academic success, social life while in college and create a feeling of home away from home. Impress upon them that their friends will influence them in positive and even negative ways, just as they did in high school; but with one difference–you won’t be there to meet them and give advice.

Study first, play after

College is much more difficult than high school. The reading is extensive, the homework can be overwhelming, and the study requirements can be brutal. If your student doesn’t make study a priority, their first semester of college could be their last.

Take advantage of that expensive education

It’s true when they say colleges are institutions of higher learning. But your student must attend class, pay attention, be motivated to study, and do the work. The knowledge won’t just soak in, your student will have to do their part. Don’t miss out on free lectures and career training opportunities.

Don’t look in the rear view mirror

Your student’s friends (and boyfriend or girlfriend) back home will often bring them down. During periods of homesickness, that pull to return home from the friends who stayed can be strong. Remind your student that college will be a new chapter in their life and looking ahead will keep them focused on what’s important.

Graduation will come sooner than you expect

Four years will pass quickly. Your student needs to take advantage of every opportunity to plan for days after graduation. They should participate in internships, make connections with alumni, develop relationships with professors, and visit the career center often. Most students don’t even start thinking about jobs after graduation until senior year. When graduation day arrives, you student won’t be caught unprepared.

Resolve roommate conflicts immediately

When your student recognizes a problem (and they will). address it. Much of the angst your student might experience with roommates could have been avoided if your student simply has a conversation. For the worst problems, go to the RA for mediation.

Avoid risky behavior and consider the consequences

Every college is a party school. Unfortunately, even though your student will be underage, they will be offered alcohol. The reality is there will always be drinking on campus. Excessive drinking can cause all sorts of regrettable behavior that result in negative consequences. It’s unwise for you to assume that your student won’t drink because even the strongest student will be tempted and most likely succumb. For girls, this conversation is critical since drinking often results in unwanted sexual experiences because they are less likely to be in control of their emotions.

Your professors are your friend

Your student’s professors are key players in their college success. Encourage them to establish relationships and cultivate them. They might need them for tutoring help, and will definitely need them for job connections after graduation.

The days will fly by–Carpe Diem!

The memories my daughter made in college are some of her most treasured memories. Her sorority sisters, her study abroad experiences, her trips with friends, and some of her most admired professors and mentors live in those memories. College is what you make of it and your student should enjoy and experience every moment.