Tag Archives: parenting

college prep, parenting

Summer Reading Suggestions-for parents of high school students

summer reading

The summer is half over, but if you’re lucky, you can steal some reading time. With a teenager in the house and college (or something else) on the horizon, a prepared parent is a less stressful parent. When school starts, you want every tool in your arsenal and these summer reading suggestions can help arm you for the task ahead.

College Bound and Gagged

Nancy takes the everyday aspects of the college admissions process and puts them into terms that parents can easily understand and relate to by using humor. And if that’s not enough, she sprinkles some of the best college admissions advice along the way by tapping into her own personal experiences and her network of college experts that she utilizes throughout the book.

DebtFreeU

When Zac Bissonnette headed off to college, he had the funds to cover the tab. Bissonnette has seen the currently flawed system first hand. He’s a contrarian, and his book is packed with studies and statistics to back up his analysis. It’s a magical combination that college-bound students and their parents should read, even if there’s plenty of money set aside to pay the tuition tab. There’s no harm in learning ways to get the biggest bang for your buck and the best education available at the same time.

How to Win College Scholarships

The best part about Monica’s e-book is that it’s simple and easy to understand. If you follow her easy 10 step program, the scholarship process becomes doable for any parent and their student. You can sit back and hope that your student does all the work, or you can offer help and support by grabbing a copy of Monica’s book, reading it, and rolling up your sleeves.

Toward College Success: Is Your Teenager Ready, Willing and Able

This is a book to help parents of middle and high school students. This book prods parents to ask if their teenager will be ready, willing, and able to handle self-management, personal safety, roommate conflicts, personal finances, interactions with teachers, academic responsibility, and much more. Included in this book are numerous interviews with parents, college students, school counselors and advisors, law enforcement per- sonnel, teachers, medical personnel, and school administrators. At the end of each chapter are examples of how parents can prepare their teenagers for a successful college experience and turn their students into confident, reponsible young adults.

25 Top Secrets Expensive College Consultants Reveal Only To Their Clients About College Admissions: Get An Unfair Advantage When Applying To College

For college admissions help, give your child that “unfair” advantage in applying to college, without cheating, offering bribes, using legacy, or giving donations. Here’s the kind of insider information that’s made the author’s own clients refer him to their friends for the past 17 years. It’s a free, fast and entertaining read that’s designed for the hard-bitten realist who takes nothing at face value, especially in light of the college admissions scandal of 2019. This ebook comes with an option to take advantage of the author’s free videos that are designed to expand and update the book’s content when necessary.

The College Solution

The second edition of The College Solution, which contains approximately 90% new material, is aimed at helping parents and teenagers become empowered consumers as they navigate through the college process. Billions of dollars are available to pay for college, but not everybody gets their share. It’s not always the families with the brightest students or the parents who are struggling financially who receive the most money. The College Solution shares the secrets of how you can capture some of this money for your own family. The book provides advice on such topics as financial aid, merit scholarships, athletic scholarships, admission hooks, the important differences between colleges and universities, college rankings, the best student loans and the latest online tools to evaluate the generosity of schools. O’Shaughnessy presents an easy-to-use, proven road map for getting past the ratings, and finding the right schools at the right price.

Getting In-Inside the College Admissions Process

I’ve read plenty of books on college admissions. Some are so scholarly heavy that you need a degree to figure them out. Others are so shallow you can find most of the material in your teen’s high school handouts. Zinch’s book is neither of the above. It’s geared toward the student, but is also extremely valuable from a parent’s perspective. Zinch reminds the student that while the college process often involves the entire family, the final choice must be their own. I agree with this whole heartedly. Every parent should grasp this truth.

Higher Education: How Colleges are Wasting Your Money

The authors observe how conventional universities are coming to resemble for-profit diploma mills through inexpensive, Orwellian-titled “distance learning.” At Florida Gulf Coast University on the outskirts of Fort Myers, students in Humanities 2510 sit in dormitories or at home studying painting, sculpture, and architecture via online lectures. Adjunct professors with modest credentials answer questions by e-mail; telephone calls are not allowed. Multiple-choice tests emphasize dry facts and figures. Short papers are required, but students don’t have to attend performances or see art in person. In lieu of customized grading, instructors draw on “sample stock comments” they slap on student papers. “Humanities 2510 seems close to cramming for a quiz show,” the authors write. To readers, it might just seem like a rip-off.

Secrets of a Financial Aid Pro

Jodi Okun’s book launched today and the presales put it on the Amazon #1 Best Seller list. This book is more than help for financial aid questions. In it you can find out how to give your student the financial skills they’ll need for life, with talking points and scripts to help you with important conversations you need to have before college. Jodi provides parents with expert advice and in this book shares her experiences of helping parents pay for college.

How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success

In this book, Julie Lythcott-Haims draws on research, on conversations with admissions officers, educators, and employers, and on her own insights as a mother and as a student dean to highlight the ways in which overparenting harms children, their stressed-out parents, and society at large. While empathizing with the parental hopes and, especially, fears that lead to overhelping, Lythcott-Haims offers practical alternative strategies that underline the importance of allowing children to make their own mistakes and develop the resilience, resourcefulness, and inner determination necessary for success.

Will College Pay Off?: A Guide to the Most Important Financial Decision You’ll Ever Make

College is the biggest expense for many families, larger even than the cost of the family home, and one that can bankrupt students and their parents if it works out poorly. Peter Cappelli offers vital insight for parents and students to make decisions that both make sense financially and provide the foundation that will help students make their way in the world. Adding to the confusion, the same degree can cost dramatically different amounts for different people. A barrage of advertising offers new degrees designed to lead to specific jobs, but we see no information on whether graduates ever get those jobs. Mix in a frenzied applications process, and pressure from politicians for “relevant” programs, and there is an urgent need to separate myth from reality.

Do What You Are: Discover the Perfect Career for You Through the Secrets of Personality Type

Using the world-renowned Meyers-Briggs personality testing system, the author leads the reader through a self-assessment to uncover their specific personality type. The results of this personality assessment suggest appropriate careers that are most suitable for the unique characteristics of each of the 16 personality types. By better understanding your strengths, you can be more open-minded and self-empowered in determining the focus of your career and your own needs when it comes to feeling satisfied.

college planning, college prep, parenting

Surviving a Busy summer

summer

If you have a high school student, especially one who is focused on the goal of attending college, your summers aren’t just vacations. Gone are the days when you took the kids to the pool, the library and the park. Gone are the days when your time was consumed with planning the summer family vacation and creating a chore chart for the kids to complete chores before play time.

You (and your teen) have other goals in mind.  You’re thinking about using the summer to take care of some college prep tasks to get ahead of the game. Searching for scholarships, doing some test prep, visiting colleges, and having some serious talks about money will consume your summer days. How do you survive?

Share the tasks

It’s unthinkable in this competitive college market to expect a young teen to handle it on their own. Times have changed since we applied to college and there is much more to do than simply apply. You can help them make decisions, help with scheduling, even do some detective work searching for scholarships they are eligible for. This will ease the burden on them and alleviate the overwhelming stress that most teens feel about college.

Schedule and plan

We all know that we don’t ever have the time for a task if we don’t make the time and schedule it. Use any planning tool that works best for your family: an online calendar, an app for your smartphones, a huge wall calendar or a Google doc. Everyone knows—without a plan, you plan to fail!

Stay organized

I’m a huge fan of a college landing zone—everything in one place. Colleges still send information through the mail, registration forms and receipts need to be printed and saved, and flyers about scholarships need to be catalogued and filed. With everything in one place, it’s easy to find anything related to your student’s college preparation.

Make time to talk…and listen

Conversations are crucial to staying on the same page with your teenager. Make the time to talk, even if it’s driving to sports practice or shopping together at the mall. These small conversations are key moments for you to gauge their temperature and share some encouragement. If stress is present, you can help relieve it. If they feel overwhelmed and need help, you’re there for them. Talking about their future and truly listening prepares you both for senior year when things will proceed at the speed of light.

Of course, you want to have fun this summer; but a little work and some focused preparation will make the next school year seem doable. Use the summer time wisely.

careers, gap year, parenting

Is your teen unsure about college?

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Not every student is excited about going to college. Is your teen unsure about college?

Sometimes they need a little push; and sometimes college just isn’t in their headlights. The simple truth is: The four-year college plan isn’t for everyone. For some young adults, the thought of college terrifies them. If they have struggled in school, they know college is going to be more academically challenging. Other students are simply burned out and need a break. But, with all the talk about college during high school, other options are rarely discussed.

What if your student simply won’t consider college?

My son never saw himself in college. He was an average student but from the time he entered high school, he had military aspirations. He joined the Naval Junior ROTC program and as a senior, he enlisted in the U.S. Marines. It was a good decision for him at the time, even though I protested strongly because I wanted him to go to college.

If your student seems disinterested in college, there are other options to consider. For example, a gap year might be in order. During a gap year or semester, students can work at an internship, learn a trade, or find a volunteer opportunity, at home or abroad. Another bold initiative would be to become an entrepreneur – start a business or invent a product to sell.

Your student might opt to work at a full-time job while researching career opportunities. There’s no better way to spark interest in a career path than to work in it for a bit. A career interest could spur them to research training opportunities or even consider college later down the road.

If your teen isn’t quite ready for college, here a few ideas from an article I wrote for TeenLife Media: Gap Years and Other Ideas for Teens Unsure About College.

parenting

Do your teens say you’re losing your hearing?

hearing

Parenthood is all about communication. Communication with your child, with your partner or co-parent, with your child’s school or college and with your own parents, friends, family and the people from whom you get your guidance and inspiration. But communication is a two way street. As we get older, hearing loss can put up a roadblock on our side of that street, making it harder to hear and understand when others communicate with us. The thing is, we rarely notice hearing loss, at least until it has already reached a point at which it has become fairly profound. Our hearing ebbs away so slowly and gradually that for some it may take years or even decades to realize that their hearing has become an issue. Here we’ll look at some of the signs that you’re losing your hearing without even knowing it, and what you can do to prevent it from impinging on your life and the quality of your relationships.

What causes hearing loss?


There are many different causes of hearing loss and it can affect us at any time in our lives (although it tends to become more common as we get older). Sometimes hearing loss is temporary and it takes nothing more than flushing out excess ear wax to return it to its usual clarity. Those who have noisy jobs or work with heavy machinery may also experience hearing loss if they don’t properly protect their ears. There are also hereditary conditions like Meniere’s disease which can also become detrimental to your hearing over time. And then sometimes it’s a simple matter of advancing years. Whatever the cause of your hearing loss, the longer you live in denial, the worse your quality of communication with your loved ones and your overall quality of life are likely to become. Forget the myths about hearing devices! A hearing aid can be a lifeline for your quality of communication with the people most important to you. Be sure to consult an audiologist if you notice any of the following…

Your kids keep asking you to turn down the TV while they study

You and your child have worked together to create a perfect study space which is conducive to relaxed, focused study and hard work. But unbeknownst to you, your deteriorating hearing is impinging on their studies. If they keep complaining that you have the TV, stereo or radio on too loud this could be a sign that all is not as it should be with your hearing.

Your loved ones get a little irritated when they keep having to repeat themselves

Have you ever noticed that people need to tell you the same thing two or three times before you’re able to understand it? Maybe not. It’s fairly common for people to ask one another to repeat themselves. However, there’s a chance that you’re doing this more than you think without even noticing. If you notice loved ones rolling their eyes or sighing when you ask them to repeat themselves, this could mean that your hearing loss is further along than you thought.

Social occasions that become an ordeal

When we have hearing loss, it becomes harder to pick out individual voices from the texture of background noise. As such, following a conversation in a busy bar, cafe or restaurant can become tiring and stressful. People with hearing loss tend not to get too involved in the conversation and hang back a little, smiling and nodding at what seem like appropriate moments. If this rings a little too true to you, you may well be affected by hearing loss.

If you’ve noticed any or all of the above taking place recently you owe it to yourself, your kids and your loved ones to talk to someone about your hearing loss.  

college prep, parenting

Conversations before college

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before college

High school graduation is upon you and you and your student are looking forward toward college and a very busy summer. Amidst all the parties and preparation, it’s crucial that you spend some time dispensing “parental” advice in a way they will listen and take it to heart.

Don’t sit them down for “the talk” because they will simply tune you out. Take advantage of snippets of time to cover these important topics either for the first time or as a refresher before college.

Pick your friends carefully

College friends have a great impact on a student’s academic success, social life while in college and create a feeling of home away from home. Impress upon them that their friends will influence them in positive and even negative ways, just as they did in high school; but with one difference–you won’t be there to meet them and give advice.

Study first, play after

College is much more difficult than high school. The reading is extensive, the homework can be overwhelming, and the study requirements can be brutal. If your student doesn’t make study a priority, their first semester of college could be their last.

Take advantage of that expensive education

It’s true when they say colleges are institutions of higher learning. But your student must attend class, pay attention, be motivated to study, and do the work. The knowledge won’t just soak in, your student will have to do their part. Don’t miss out on free lectures and career training opportunities.

Don’t look in the rear view mirror

Your student’s friends (and boyfriend or girlfriend) back home will often bring them down. During periods of homesickness, that pull to return home from the friends who stayed can be strong. Remind your student that college will be a new chapter in their life and looking ahead will keep them focused on what’s important.

Graduation will come sooner than you expect

Four years will pass quickly. Your student needs to take advantage of every opportunity to plan for days after graduation. They should participate in internships, make connections with alumni, develop relationships with professors, and visit the career center often. Most students don’t even start thinking about jobs after graduation until senior year. When graduation day arrives, you student won’t be caught unprepared.

Resolve roommate conflicts immediately

When your student recognizes a problem (and they will). address it. Much of the angst your student might experience with roommates could have been avoided if your student simply has a conversation. For the worst problems, go to the RA for mediation.

Avoid risky behavior and consider the consequences

Every college is a party school. Unfortunately, even though your student will be underage, they will be offered alcohol. The reality is there will always be drinking on campus. Excessive drinking can cause all sorts of regrettable behavior that result in negative consequences. It’s unwise for you to assume that your student won’t drink because even the strongest student will be tempted and most likely succumb. For girls, this conversation is critical since drinking often results in unwanted sexual experiences because they are less likely to be in control of their emotions.

Your professors are your friend

Your student’s professors are key players in their college success. Encourage them to establish relationships and cultivate them. They might need them for tutoring help, and will definitely need them for job connections after graduation.

The days will fly by–Carpe Diem!

The memories my daughter made in college are some of her most treasured memories. Her sorority sisters, her study abroad experiences, her trips with friends, and some of her most admired professors and mentors live in those memories. College is what you make of it and your student should enjoy and experience every moment.

admissions

What do other parents think about college admissions?

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college admissions

You can talk to experts and read all the articles online, but nothing compares to listening to other parents and their experiences with college admissions.

Knowing there are other parents struggling with the same questions, problems and unexpected outcomes can help you feel less alone. But where do you find that information? There are two excellent Facebook groups to help: Paying for College 101 and Grown and Flown. With thousands of parents posting and commenting daily, you can ask any questions (even specific ones) and someone will most likely have the answer.

Parents have asked about testing, financial aid, homesickness, the college admissions process and much more. There are plenty of other parents available to offer their advice and non-judgmental help. According to a survey by Paying for College 101, “the most common words participants used to describe the admissions experience were “stressful,” “exhausting,” and “overwhelming.” Most parents can certainly relate to those feelings.

Other results of the survey include:

  • Most of the families responding (68%) were going through the college admissions process for the first time
  • 27% of students applied to 10 or more colleges
  • 39% applied to 1 to 5 schools
  • 34% applied to 6 to 9 schools
  • 42% of students were waitlisted
  • 17% of these students being waitlisted at 2 or more schools
  • 89% of responders received some form of financial aid. Of those receiving financial aid, 57% received only merit scholarships, 6% received financial aid based on need, and 37% received a combination of merit and need-based aid
  • 66% of responders were either OK, Satisfied or Very Satisfied with their financial aid offer
  • 62% of responders chose not to appeal their financial aid award
  • 56% of responders have a plan to pay for college
  • 24% aren’t sure if they have a plan
  • 20% do not have a plan.

For some specific responses and stories from three parents, you can follow this link: College Admissions Decisions & Financial Aid Survey For The Class Of 2023.

college prep, parenting

Is Your Student Prepared for College?

prepared for college

When your student starts the college search process it’s easy to become overwhelmed and focus completely on the task at hand. First there are the visits, then you compare colleges, then you begin working on the applications that include the essay, and finally completing the FAFSA to qualify for financial aid. With all these tasks at hand, and a focus on academics and test scores, it’s not surprising that many forget to evaluate themselves for other important skill sets. Without these skills, all your preparation and hard work to get accepted will leave you ill-prepared for college life. Is your student prepared for college?

Financial skills

When your student heads off to college there will be many financial decisions they need to make, beginning with how much student loan debt they are willing to incur. Use loan repayment calculators to determine the amount of re-payments after graduation and use these figures to make wise decisions about loans. They will also need to know how to budget their money in regards to other college costs such as books, living expenses and entertainment. Add to that the knowledge of credit card rates and how easily it is to fall into debt using them for simple things such as pizza. Many students graduate from college with over $10,000 in credit card debt.

Social skills

If your student is headed off to college to hook up with the party scene, they are in for a rude awakening when their first semester grades are released. Many students forget that partying affects their study time and class attendance. If they are exhausted from partying the night before, they are less likely to get up for that early class. Recognize that while making friends and enjoying the social scene are necessary for their overall satisfaction of the college experience, they should not forget the reason they came to college: to get an education. Discuss with them how to balance their social life with their academic life before they leave in the fall.

Academic skills

College is not like high school. Professors expect that your student do their assignments and they don’t check up on you if you don’t. Coming to college with refined study and organization skills will help your student adjust to the rigorous course requirements of a college degree program. Managing their time is also important as it relates to class assignments, studying for tests and preparing term papers.

Mental skills

College life produces a whole new set of mental and emotional problems. Many students face homesickness early and should recognize that those feelings are normal. They should go to college with the skills needed to cope with stress and the feeling of loneliness that often occurs. Recognize that all these factors contribute to their overall mental health and know beforehand where they can find help if they need it.

Problem solving skills

College is no different than life—obstacles occur on a daily basis and you will need the skills to deal with those obstacles. Your student will be confronted with conflict and should know how to resolve that conflict, either by themselves or with a mediator (such as an RA or student advisor). They will face situations that require them to advocate and they should be comfortable doing this before they head off to college and become completely independent.

So much time is spent preparing for the actual college choice and application that very little time and effort goes into prepping for these valuable life skills. They may be prepared for the academic rigors of college, but neglecting to prepare for all the other aspects of college life might affect your success and ultimate degree completion. It’s your role as a parent to make sure they have these skills before they leave for college.

college planning, college prep, parenting, Uncategorized

Compromising During College Prep

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college prep

When parents and students enter the college-bound process, issues arise. It’s the inevitable clash of what parents think is best for their kids, and what the kids want. Over the past 18 years the clashes have been over such things as food, friends and entertainment choices. As college approaches, the parent-student conflict intensifies.

Following are six areas that typically cause conflict along with some advice on how to handle it and work toward a compromise.

1. Junior college vs 4-year college

Parents often approach the college prep process from a financial standpoint; students do. They make their decisions based on all types of criteria that might not seem logical to parents: location, campus activities, the look of the campus, friends, and even popularity of the college with their peers. While those aren’t necessarily the best criteria, they should play into their final decisions.

Here are just a few questions to consider:

  • Would a 4-year college be better for your student?

If your student is independent and knows what he wants, a 4-year college might indeed be the best choice. Students who are focused and are ready to pursue a specific major can benefit from attending a 4-year college starting with their freshman year.

  • Could you justify a 4-year college if it was more affordable?

Although junior college is more affordable based on cost for credit hours, there are other factors to consider. For instance, scholarships are more readily available to incoming freshmen than to transfer students. Financial aid awards could be enough to offset the higher tuition fees.

  • Does your student understand the benefits of junior college?

Perhaps the greatest benefit of attending a junior college is getting the basics out of the way, especially if they are unsure about a major. The financial benefits can be great as well, especially if the student lives at home and works while attending.

  • Is it possible to reach a compromise?

Talk with your student and make an effort to understand their reasons for wanting to attend a 4-year college. Be open to the possibility. Explain your concerns about cost and going to college without a decided major. A compromise might be for them to take courses over the summer before college and get a few of the basics out of the way.

2. A profitable major vs a major that embraces their passions

Parents think logically—they want their kids to graduate and be able to secure a job that pays well and has future career advancement possibilities. While there is nothing wrong with that line of thinking, their kids want to study something that interests them.

Have you considered these realities?

  • Your child would be more likely to embrace college if he has a passion for what he is studying.

Statistics show that nearly half of all college students drop out before receiving a degree. If your student is pursuing something he is passionate about, the likelihood of him sticking it out for 4 years is much higher than if he is pursuing a major that doesn’t interest him simply because he will be more employable after graduation.

  • There are lucrative majors that embrace all areas of interest and could be a good compromise.

Investigate majors and research the ones that have a good rate of return. Encourage your child to look at the degree plans and perhaps add a minor to their degree embracing their passions. Some colleges even allow students to create their own degree plans, choosing courses that interest them and pertain to their areas of study.

  • Those who are happiest in life have careers that they are passionate about.

Of course you want your child to be successful and be able to make a living. But even though they get a job after graduation that pays well, it doesn’t guarantee they will stick with it, especially if it is not something they are passionate about.

  • Explaining the consequences of choosing a major that’s unemployable might help your child understand why you are concerned.

Graduating with debt and being unemployable is a big concern for parents. But your student may not understand the consequences of their decision. Its four years down the road and all they see is dollar signs because they have a college degree. Encourage them to do some research on the major they are considering and the expected salary and hiring potential after graduation. It just might open their eyes and help them move toward a more logical major.

3. Extracurricular activities vs free time

Parents look at the big picture. Students focus on the “here and now”. It’s hard for teenagers to comprehend the importance of proper planning and preparation. They want to enjoy high school and not be pressed day in and day out to focus on the future. It’s a delicate balance between applying themselves, managing their time and enjoying their free time.

With a few simple tactics you and your teen should be able to reach a compromise:

Set aside time each day to work on college related activities.

Parents who are over achievers expect the same from their student. But all work and no play makes for a very stressed out teenager. Make a plan with them to spend x amount of time each day on college-related activities. Once they complete their daily tasks, you will feel better about letting them have some free time.

  • Encourage your teen to focus on one activity throughout high school.

Many parents think that piling on the extracurriculars during high school will impress college admissions officers. But it’s not entirely true. Colleges are looking for focused applicants. They are much more impressed with a student who has devoted four years in high school to one particular activity than one who has piled them on just to impress. Consistency is more appealing than numbers.

  • Allow your teen time to have fun while helping them to find balance.

Teaching your teen to balance their time will go a long way in helping them to manage their time in college. Students who know how to keep a balance between studying and social activities do much better in a college environment. Help them prioritize their activities.

  • Work with them to establish goals and the steps needed to reach them.

Before they leave for college, students need to know how to set goals and how to take steps to fulfill them. Help them make a list of goals, both short term and long term, and encourage them to evaluate those goals on a regular basis adjusting their time to stay on track.

4. Hand holding vs a quest for independence

Perhaps the most difficult part of parenting a college-bound teen is when to help and when to let them take the reins. It’s hard because for the past 18 years we have been in control. Relinquishing control over such a critical process in their life is harder than you might imagine. Looking at the process from the college’s standpoint, the student needs to own the process. They will be the one going to college and they should be the one making the decisions. But you can certainly guide, encourage and offer help when asked.

Parents can help with these tasks:

  • Staying organized-keeping track of deadlines and test dates.
  • Explaining the financial plan-discuss what you will pay and what you expect them to pay toward college.
  • Providing documents as needed, especially concerning financial aid.
  • Offering advice about college choices-offer advice but don’t dictate choices based on your preferences.
  • Accompanying them on college visits- listen to their likes and dislikes afterwards while staying objective.
  • Providing tutoring help if needed.
  • Help with studying for standardized tests.
  • Guide them with the final decision helping them take into account financial aid awards
  • Help with locating scholarships.

Parents should let their student take the lead with these tasks:

  • Compiling a list of college choices
  • Talking during college visits and interviews
  • Communicating with colleges via email, social media, and telephone
  • Gathering letters of recommendation
  • Applying for scholarships
  • Completing the application
  • Completing the FAFSA
  • Making the final decision

5. Gap year vs going straight to college

Parents cringe when their teens bring up the gap year. The concept seems like procrastination and parents fear that once out of school, the student may never go to college at all. Taking a year off to lie around and do nothing is never an acceptable option. But taking a year off with a focused purpose might be what’s best for your teen.

Before you put your foot down and forbid them to do this, consider the reasons a gap year might be beneficial:

  • They could use the time to pursue career interests.

A gap year could be the perfect time for your student to learn more about specific careers that would help them choose a major. Internships and apprenticeships during the year could provide them with more information about the types of education needed and the specific degree plan best suited to their chosen career.

  • They could take the time to travel and work abroad.

Taking a year off to travel and work abroad can be beneficial when they do attend college. Being exposed to different cultures and getting to see the world helps them in their future careers. There are many programs that offer students the opportunity to work while abroad and some that offer them the opportunity to volunteer for room and board. Scholarships are also available as well.

  • They could simply use the time to mature and gain focus.

Many high school graduates simply aren’t mature and focused enough to attend college. Taking a year off means a year to grow and mature. But it should never be used to sit around the house, play video games, and hang out with friends. A gap year, to help with maturity and focus, should always include a plan such as working part-time while taking a few courses at the local community college.

  • Work full time to save money for college.

For many students, working full time for a year will help them save money for college expenses. It’s definitely something to consider, especially if this money would be used to avoid taking out student loans.

Parents should understand that college right after high school is not the best path for every teen. There are other alternatives, even ones that could include taking a course or two at a community college. The most important role for parents is to help their teenager find a path to success.

6. Considering alternatives to college

In a recent article I wrote for Collegiate Parent, Alternatives to Traditional College, I explained that not every student is meant to take the 4-year college path:

“When my son was a senior in high school, he had no idea what he wanted to do after graduation. College seemed out of reach and of very little interest since he coasted through high school on the bare minimum of effort. His involvement in NJROTC (Navy Junior Reserve Officers Training Corps) in high school led him toward the military option. When he left for boot camp after graduation, he was happy with his decision to avoid the traditional college route.

My daughter, on the other hand, knew she wanted to go to college and where she wanted to go. When she graduated and left for college in the fall, she was content with her decision and looked forward to four years of education.

Each of my children chose a different path. If I had forced my son to attend college it would have ended badly. If I had pressured my daughter to join the military, it would have been a disaster. But since I let them decide for themselves and didn’t push them in any one direction, they found the paths that were right for them.”

While a college degree is an impressive achievement and has undisputed value, it’s not for everyone. There are many meaningful paths after high school graduation that don’t include a traditional four-year college experience. If your student is vacillating about going to college, or is currently in college but regrets the decision, don’t panic. Your student may need to follow one of these alternative paths.

Parents and teens take on new roles during the college prep process. The parents are attempting to let go and trust that the decisions made will be the best ones. The teens are attempting to exert their independence and make their own decisions. As senior year progresses, teens should move toward independence and parents should relinquish control and trust their teens to act as they have been taught over the last 18 years. It’s not easy, but the ideal situation is parents guiding their teens to become independent, self-advocating adults.

college planning, dorm life, parenting

The First Day of College

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Your senior is looking ahead. The last few months of high school. Major decisions to make. A huge to-do list. Then…it’s off to college. How will your student adapt? How will you adapt? Here’s a letter to your student (save it for later) and prepare yourself for their first day of college and the longest goodbye.

first day of college

This is it!

You have made the college applications, you have been to those (not for the faint of heart) college visits, you have been accepted for a place, and then, finally, your alarm clock wakes you from your slumber. The day has finally arrived.

The day you leave home and embark on your college education.

Oh, the joys, the excitement, the nerves, the cold dread of fear…

It’s time for some survival tips to help you get through your first day.

Tip #1: Operate an open day policy

If you have a roommate, then you will automatically have one candidate for your social circle (let’s hope you like them). But if you are in a room of your own, don’t shut the door when you arrive. Well, don’t shut it for long anyway, as your day will be a lot easier if you manage to say “hello” to somebody. An open door is an opening for other residents to come and introduce themselves to you, so while you might want to curl up in bed if you’re stricken with nerves, know that operating an open door policy on your first day will help you make contact with similar others.

Tip #2: Make your room your own

Homesickness is common for first-day students, and while you may be tempted to ring your parents every five minutes for comfort, you can also make any negative feelings disappear by decorating your room with your some homely touches. Photos of friends and family, posters from your old bedroom, and any knick-knack you might possess are all useful ways to transform your dorm room from something strange and unfamiliar to something comforting and reassuring.

Tip #3: Get out and meet people

Don’t stay in your room alone for long. Hopefully, you may have met people through the open door policy we advocated, but if not, you need to be proactive. Wander down the corridor and knock on other people’s doors. Introduce yourself, and let them know your room number. And go out into the wider campus and find out where people are hanging out. It takes courage to go up to groups of people, but try and do so, or if you see other people wandering about alone, go and say “hello.” They are probably in the same boat as you are, trying to make sense of their first day in a new place.

Tip #4: Explore the campus

You are going to get lost – a lot – in your first few days at college. Don’t worry, this is normal, and if you are late for a few classes here and there, then you have an excuse. Still, you can make life easier for yourself by exploring your surroundings. Especially as  you won’t have much to do on your first day, this is the perfect opportunity to spend time getting to know where things are. From the cafeteria to the library, make a mental note of how to get to places, or make notes on your phone. You might also meet people this way too, so remember to be polite and introduce yourself as you’re on your walk around the campus.

Finally

Don’t despair if you don’t meet anybody you like. Don’t worry if your first day threatens to overwhelm you. It will get easier, so try to stay calm and carry on, even when your nerves threaten to get the better of you. There is plenty more advice online on how to survive college life, including this excellent blog from Stephen Troese Jr, so gather as much info as you can to help you on your college journey.


college prep, parenting

How Can Parents Help With College Prep?

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college prepWhen I was in high school, parents would never think of helping their student with college prep. The high school counselors handled any questions and most my classmates attended the local four-year university. But parenting has changed and so has college prep. With record numbers of students applying to college and the soaring costs of college, parents can help students relieve some of the stress of college prep by offering some help when needed.

Just remember that “help” is the operative word. Your student should always be in charge of the process. Here are just a few ways you can help your student with college prep:

Scholarship searches

Parents can assist students with scholarship searches. With all the opportunities online of scholarship postings and search engines, it’s easy to spend some time on your smartphone looking for scholarships that fit your student. You can do a Google search with scholarship parameters, use apps like MyScholly, or even search on Twitter by following users like @AidScholarship or @Scholarships360. Once you find a scholarship that matches your student’s interests and/or qualifications, pass the information along to your student.

Interview tips and information

Parents can certainly provide useful interview tips for their students. They can advise them on appropriate dress and give interview tips and encouragement.  You might even go as far as passing along useful articles about college interview questions and answers like this one: College Interview Questions to Ask and Answer.

Essay proofing and editing

While it’s not advisable for parents to contribute content to the student’s college essay (admissions officers can spot this instantly), it’s perfectly acceptable to help your student with proofing and editing. Your student may need to bounce off some ideas before starting as well. If you find it necessary, you can even provide further help by paying for an essay writing coach like The College Essay Guy to help.

College visits

Accompanying your student on college visits can be another way you can participate in the process. While on the visit, let your student take the lead. You should listen, take pictures, and even notes if necessary to help with the information gathering process. Scheduling multiple visits over a few days can also be helpful for both you and your student.

Test prep

Your student should set aside some time to prepare for standardized tests. You can help by scheduling study time during the week, monitoring practice tests, or even paying for a professional test prep tutor. Affordable and even free test prep is available for every student if you find this will help them better prepare

College choice

Even though the final choice of college should always be left to your student, you can certainly offer input and advice along the way. You can help your student stay within the financial guidelines you should set before applying and also help with the final decision.