Tag Archives: parenting

parenting

13 Reasons Why Parents Should Pay Attention

13 Reasons Why

My teenagers are now adults. Thankfully, they both survived being a teenager and came through it unscathed. I was never more thankful than after I watched “13 Reasons Why”.

This is not an entertainment review blog. That’s not the reason I’m discussing the Netflix series here today. Although it was an excellent series with some bone-chilling twists and turns, it was more than entertainment. It was a shock to my system. It was a wake-up call for parents. It was a commentary on the dangers of today’s teenagers and how being connected either online or with smartphones can multiply and exaggerate what used to be typical teenage experiences.

The premise of this series is one teenager’s path from hope to hopelessness. That path was driven by 13 different people. Twelve teenagers and one adult who either weren’t listening, didn’t care, or felt pressured by peers to participate in hateful acts toward her. With each instance of cruelty, her hopelessness increases leading her to take her own life. But, she leaves 13 tapes behind explaining what led her to do it. Each person had no idea. Each came face to face with their own cruelty and neglect.

Every parent of a teenager should watch this series. But be warned—it will scare the bejeebies out of you. And it should. Because the world our children and our grandchildren live in today is cruel—crueler than it has ever been. Bullies exist everywhere and the bullying is magnified by social media and smartphones. Your teenager is most likely either being bullied or is bullying someone. Yes, I did say that.

It’s time for parents to start paying attention. Don’t bury your head in the sand and say it can’t happen to my child. Don’t turn away and make comments like, “everyone is bullied.” Most of us were bullied as children in one form or another, but trust me, it was nothing compared to the extent of what is happening today.

I am not a psychologist. I’m just a parent. I raised two teenagers. Based on my own experiences, here are 13 reasons why “13 Reasons Why” parents should pay attention to this series:

  1. Your teenager will experience back-breaking peer pressure. Their peers will pressure them to do things they might not normally do on their own. Peer groups have a great influence on your teenager’s actions. Give your teenager the tools he or she needs to stand up to bad behavior and bullying.
  2. The stress and competition around the college process is overwhelming. There is no greater time for students to feel pressured and stress from their peers and adults than during college prep season. Some is self-inflicted stress, but they will also succumb to comparisons over GPAs, test scores, college choices, and college acceptances. Encourage your teen to pursue his or her own path and be proud of their own accomplishments.
  3. Kids are cruel; especially teenagers. It’s a fact of life. It starts in grade school—the teasing, the bullying, the “I’m not your friend” comments. It only intensifies during the high school years. A strong self-esteem and supportive family can help your teenager overcome the feelings of inadequacies that come with this type of cruelty.
  4. If you don’t know the signs of suicide, you can’t help. Educate yourself. Get information online. Go to parent seminars. Talk to the school and ask what resources they have in place to help students. Finally, don’t ignore the signs. If you see your teenager needs help, don’t be afraid to get it.
  5. You should make it clear in no uncertain terms that bullying will not be tolerated. If you don’t want your teen to be bullied, you should make it clear that you will not allow bullying from your teen. If you see it happening, confront it. If you see it happening to another teenager, inform their parents. Get involved and encourage discussion.
  6. If you don’t talk about this now, it will only get worse in college. Now, while you have them at home, is the time to confront these issues of bullying, teen suicide, social media behavior and mental illness. Once they are away at college, it’s harder to see the signs and even harder to help.
  7. Social media is a game changer. Years ago, bullying was done face to face. Now, it happens online and with the use of smartphones. Social media allows bullies to remain anonymous and harm their victims without having to be face to face. It also makes it harder to fight and diffuse the bullying.
  8. Texts, group texts, Snapchat and other means of communication make bullying much worse. When you watch this series, you will see how group texts and social media contributed to extending the bullying from one student to an entire school. Talk with your teenager about the danger of this behavior and monitor their smartphone and social media activity.
  9. The suicide rate among teenagers is alarming. According to the Center for Disease Control:

    Suicide is the SECOND leading cause of death for ages 10-24; suicide is the SECOND leading cause of death for college-age youth and ages 12-18; more teenagers and young adults die from suicide than from any disease COMBINED; each day in our nation, there are an average of over 5,240 attempts by young people grades 7-12; four out of five teens who attempt suicide have given clear warning signs

  1. Most teenagers have a side their parents see and a side their peers see. You may think everything is fine because your teenager tells you it is. But appearances can be deceiving. Take the time to listen, communicate and spend time with your teenager. Make your home a safe space where they feel free to talk about any subject without judgment or condemnation.
  2. Do not let your teenagers watch this without you. There are explicit rape scenes, nudity, and an actual depiction of suicide in the series. If you feel they must watch or are already watching, watch with them and have discussions after each episode.
  3. Kindness won’t stop a person contemplating suicide, but cruelty certainly contributes. It’s clear that a person contemplating suicide will require more than kindness to change their mind. However, the amount of cruelty and hatred a person endures can be a contributing factor. Your teenagers should be aware of this and you should make it clear that you won’t tolerate any hate speak or cruel words directed towards others.
  4. Your teenager’s peers shape their lives. Our friends dictate our actions. That’s why it’s important to choose our friends wisely. It’s important for your teenager to have a few close friends they can confide in and trust. These friends will help counteract any negative input they receive from others. My teenagers’ friends were literally their lifeline in high school and college. Help them choose friends who will raise them up and not tear them down.

If this isn’t enough, read this post from a parent whose son attempted suicide and watched the series: “13 Reasons Why” Scared the Shit Out of Me—And It Should Scare You Too!

Now go watch “13 Reasons Why”. But fair warning—it’s going to scare the bejeebies out of you. At the very least it will make you pay attention. At the very most, it could help you save your teenager’s life.

parenting

You’re a Parent of a Teenager: April Fools

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april fools

Teenagers have to be the biggest April Fools joke of all. You are handed this sweet, bundle of joy and 13 years later it turns into a hormonal nightmare–complete with fits of anger, slamming doors, shouts of “I hate you”, mood swings and silent treatments.

This intensifies during the college prep process as stress levels rise and both parents and teenagers morph into monsters at times. But when and why does this happen?

Testing time is stressful. Parents nag students about studying. Students stress about the fact they feel their entire future depends on scoring well on this test. Just know it will happen and be prepared for tears and outbursts (on both your parts).

During college visits students have one idea and parents have another. For the student, it’s an emotional process. For the parents, it’s a fact gathering mission. Stay calm and don’t expect your student to have the same response you do at the end.

Writing the essay is nail-biting 101 for both parents and students. It’s best to step back, pray, and trust that it will get done. Do not–I repeat–do not give in and write the essay for them. If need be, seek professional essay writing help.

Discussing the money with your student who thinks you’re an ATM can be torture. They may not understand but you have to put your foot down on what you are willing to spend. Don’t give in to tears and emotional pleas. Be firm–you’re the parent.

Waiting for college decisions put every member of the family on edge. Checking the mailbox or email account on a daily basis becomes a part of your life for a few weeks (or even months). Be prepared for the highs and lows that accompany this time honored tradition.

Parenting college-bound teenagers might have some correlation to the origin of April Fools.

According to “What is April Fools Day and Why Do We Celebrate It”, some say the French Revolution played a part in the long-standing tradition. April 1 is the anniversary of the event…you may ask why is this linked to comedy?

Historians say back on April 1, 1789, after the French people deposed King Louis XVI, King George III of England made a joke which has continued the tradition until today. He pretended to step down. The peasants took to the streets to celebrate their new freedom..and then were arrested and imprisoned.

Before you take to the streets and celebrate your newfound freedom, be prepared for the labor pains and those late night panic calls, those “I need help” calls, and those empty nest feelings. Raising happy, healthy, successful teenagers might be the greatest April Fools joke of all.

admissions, parenting

College Rejection Meltdown

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college rejection

We’ve all been there. We don’t want our children to be rejected. When someone rejects them, it cuts us to the core. How could anyone reject my sweet little girl? How dare that college turn their admission request down!

But some parents take it too far. They call. They write. They beg and plead. They offer bribes and more. In the hopes of changing the college’s mind about their admission decision.

It’s understandable. You feel your child’s pain. You don’t want them to be hurt. You want to fix it. You’ll do anything to remove the feeling of disappointment. Unfortunately, you only make matters worse. You are helping more than hurting.

Rejection and disappointment are a part of life. Your child must learn this before moving on into adulthood. Sometimes we lose. Sometimes we don’t get what we want. Being a parent isn’t synonymous with being a fixer. We should be helping our children face disappointment, deal with consequences, and learn to adjust life’s path if it takes you in a different direction.

The next few months in a college bound teenager’s life are going to be filled with excitement, drama, and often disappointment. Many will get into their first choice college. Some won’t. Some will have to readjust their plans and consider a 2nd or even 3rd choice college. Some will be rejected and won’t be able to take the college path at all. But it’s not which college your child attends that defines them. What defines them is how they respond to each of them–as an adult or as a spoiled child.

More important, how will you respond? Will you rant and complain to the college? Will you blame the college (or your child) for any rejections? Will you make your child feel insignificant or unsuccessful because they didn’t live up to your expectations?

Here’s a satire piece that’s funny, but a tad scary. You see, I’ve watched these parents in action. They plow and bulldoze their way through every difficult situation, not giving their child the opportunity to face it and overcome. Take the time to read this. Chew on it for awhile. Pass it along to other parents.

Let’s not be that type of parent–you know the one. The one who gripes, complains, threatens and harasses anyone that keeps you and your child from getting your way. Teach your child to self-advocate and face life’s disappointments with dignity. Don’t be like this parent:

Satire–A College Rejection Meltdown in 5 Emails

It starts out like this:

Dear Mrs. Williams:

While I certainly understand how disappointing it can be to receive undesirable news, I did want to follow up on your most recent email to reassure you that there was not “some kind of mix-up” in Elite University’s decision to decline your daughter’s admission. We truly regret that this decision has resulted in the unfortunate return of your gastrointestinal condition, in addition to your severe and persistent rheumatoid arthritis in your big toe.

While Ingrid is undoubtedly a very bright and talented young woman, please understand that we simply have more qualified candidates than we can admit. All admissions decisions are final, and we cannot accept requests for reconsideration.

Sincerely,
Celeste McDaniels
Dean of Admission, Elite University ‘83

Read more . . .

parenting, Uncategorized

Parents, Money and Minors: Credit, Cash and Your College Bound Kid

 

money

Getting your kids through college is always going to be a financial challenge for many parents and there are plenty of decisions that have to be made about how much monetary support you should provide and when they need to take up the slack.

Here is a look at some of the answers to those vital questions, with insights on potential solutions and tips on how to decide what level of support you can and should provide to them when they heading off to college. Plus some tips on getting financial help and why you need to try and protect your credit score.

Student life on credit

One of the best lessons to teach your kids before they are college bound is to try and instill some financial discipline into them so that they understand the need for budgeting and how to make their money stretch as far as possible.

That is going to be important during their time at college when there will be plenty of legitimate expenses to deal with, and some spending like funding their social life, that will all need to come out of the one pot of cash available.

If you are considering the idea of a credit card as a funding idea, you have two options available.

You can either suggest they apply for a card in their own name if they can get accepted, or you could agree to add them as an authorized user on one of your own existing cards. It might also be possible to agree to co-sign on a student card, which means you are going to be equally responsible for the debt accrued on that card.

Talk to your kids about building a credit history and the responsibilities of paying off the balance, especially when you consider how long it will take to repay the balance if you only make the minimum payment each month.

If you want to learn more about managing your credit card balances you can visit Consolidation.CreditCard.

Reckless habits will carry consequences

If your kid is college bound they should be more than ready to take on the responsibility of managing credit and also understand the ramifications both now and in the future if they manage to get themselves into debt.

A good credit history has always been important and it opens doors to the sort of finance you need to get on in life, such as getting a mortgage to buy a home. Want you don’t want then to do is run up debts at college that they can’t deal with, leaving their credit score damaged and their immediate financial prospects looking a lot less positive.

Get help

There are no two ways about it, getting your child through college is an expensive business, which is why it makes sense to see if you can get some financial help to make things a little easier.

The Free Application for Federal Student Aid (FAFSA) will help you to determine how much financial aid you should be able to claim.

It might prove an arduous task filling in the paperwork, but it is an important document and the money you get could make all the difference to your family finances.

________________________

Today’s guest post is from Anthony Farmer. He writes about finances and kids; saving for them, teaching them the value of money as well as real life skills they need. He is a Dad and an educator who writes for a range of parenting sites.

parenting

Are You Raising a “Snowflake”?

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snowflake
PHOTO: MARTIN KOZLOWSKI

I don’t often editorialize here, but I feel it’s important to address this topic. College preparation is more than academics, essays, volunteering, and extracurriculars. Parents should be concerned with the overall child—do they have the tools to become independent adults, make good choices, and embrace diverse opinions.

Unless you’ve been hibernating under a rock, you know “snowflake” is a term being used to describe college students who can’t seem to cope with life. Apparently, we are now in the “snowflake generation.” The term was one of Collins Dictionary’s 2016 words of the year — today’s young adults, viewed as being less resilient and more offense-prone than previous generations.

The Financial Times defined it as “a derogatory term for someone deemed too emotionally vulnerable to cope with views that challenge their own, particularly in universities and other forums once known for robust debate” and noting that the insult had been aimed at an entire generation.”

It’s clear. We are coddling our young people. We, as parents, have made it our business to protect them from life in general. This has become especially clear in the university environments where they should be challenged to think, debate, and be open to exploring all theories and opinions.

Colleges are now notifying students that the content of a lecture might upset them. Events and activities are cancelled because they might offend someone on campus. Safe spaces abound for students to deal with their emotional pain. If disappointed, they are allowed a “pass” for class or a retake of a test.

How did this happen?

Unfortunately, we have no one to blame but ourselves. We have taught our children that the world is a dangerous place. Parents go to great links to eliminate all risk from their children’s lives. Games like dodgeball are no longer allowed in schools. Safeguarding has become a top priority in every aspect of our children’s lives. Parents interfere with teachers, coaches and all types of authority, to keep their children from suffering any consequences of their actions.

Author Simon Sinek explains that as a result of social media and bad parenting strategies, people born after 1984 are entitled, narcisstic, self-interested and lazy. In a viral video he said: “They were told they were special all the time. They were told they could have anything they want in life, just because they want it… some of them got As not because they earned them but because teachers didn’t want to deal with their parents. They got participation medals for coming last. Then they were thrust into the real world and in an instant found they were not special, their parents can’t get them a promotion, they get nothing for coming in last and can’t have it just because you want it. In an instant their self-image is shattered.”

The Spectator summed it up in a recent article: Generation Snowflake—how we train our kids to be censorious cry-babies. “We — adult society — have created this generation. We protect children from criticism and suspend our critical judgment in order to massage their self-esteem. We scare them rigid by ‘catastrophising’ an endless list of fears. We make them hypervigilant about potential abuse from adults and their peers. We encourage them to equate abusive words with physical violence. And we have, in short, shaped our own overanxious, easily offended, censoriously thin-skinned Frankenstein monster. We created Generation Snowflake.”

How can we change this pattern?

Act now! Make it your goal to teach your college-bound teenager how to self-advocate. Teach them life skills like coping with disappointment, facing consequences of their actions, being financially responsible, and thinking freely and forming their own opinions. When they fail don’t rescue them. When they succeed because of hard work, acknowledge them. Don’t reward poor behavior or laziness just because they “tried”. Teach them the world doesn’t owe them anything; it’s their job to earn respect, success and independence.

Get this book: Toward College Success: Is Your Teenager Ready, Willing and Able? Read it and apply its tactics. When your student goes off to college they will be prepared for the real world which can sometimes be cruel; but a learning environment preparing them for adulthood.

parenting, social networks

What Lessons Can Your Teen Learn from the 2016 Election?

 

2016 election

This has been an emotionally charged 2016 election process. Most of us are ready for all of it to be over—from the talking heads, to the vicious mud-slinging, to the hate speak on social media. But within every negative experience, there are always teaching moments for our children.

At some point, your student will be leaving home for college as an adult. Before she goes, use this election to discuss some key values in hopes she will take them with her. These values are more important than grades, essays, and college applications.

Don’t exaggerate, bloviate, or inflate

My how both candidates have ranted, yelled, name-called and gone on and on without saying anything relevant. We’ve heard lies from both sides and attempts to cover them up or minimize them. The lesson here is simple: speak the truth. Use your words to “say what you mean and mean what you say”.

Social media is a game changer

This election has been driven by social media. Tweets from both candidates and from Wikileaks,  blasting one another on Facebook, posting videos, newspaper articles, and memes about each of the candidates. If you think no one pays attention to what you post, think again. This election was played out online this time and could very well be won or lost because of it.

The poor choices you make always have consequences

Each candidate has been embarrassed by some of the poor choices they made in the past. Their actions came back to haunt them. Their choices had consequences. This is perhaps the most important lesson to teach your college-bound teen—think before you act. Are you willing to accept the consequences of your actions?

Think before you post, tweet or email

Everything, and I mean everything, you put online will come back to haunt you. Social media is your resume and everyone is reading it—college admissions officers, future employers, family, and friends. Before you hit the “submit” button, consider the ramifications of what you are saying.

Respect has to be earned

The country has little respect for either candidate. This is an election where most people will tell you they are choosing the “lesser of two evils.” Respect is earned when you exhibit truthful, honest, moral behavior, kindness to others, and respect for authority. You have to earn respect by your actions.

And lastly, “decisions are made by those who show up”.

Harry Truman said, “Decisions are made by those who show up.” Teach your children that voting is a crucial freedom and they should exercise their right to vote in every election. And once the decision has been made, they can rest assured they did their part to express what they feel and believe.

parenting

Walking the Helicopter Parenting Tightrope

 

parenting

Parenting has certainly changed.

In the 50’s, our parents let us have the run of the neighborhood. We rode our bikes everywhere, walked home from school alone, and rode the bus to the movies alone. In the summer, we left the house early in the morning and returned home in time for dinner. Our teachers terrified us and we knew if we misbehaved, our parents would back them up. There were no car seats or safety belts. You would never find anti-bacterial soap or even consider using it. When we turned 18, we either went to college or got a full-time job and moved out of the house.

In the 80’s, parenting styles began to change. Because of Adam Walsh, we watched our kids like a hawk. We weren’t quite ready to take away their freedom, but we worried. We worried about where they were, who they were with, and what dangers they might encounter when they were at school, outside, and at the mall. Parents began to question a teacher’s authority and loosened the grip on the discipline of their children. Spanking became taboo and “time out” emerged as a parenting technique.

At the beginning of the 21st century helicopter parenting emerged. It’s not like we planned for it to happen. It just did. We sheltered our children from any disappointment. Everyone on the team got a trophy. There were no winners or losers. We questioned all school authority. We would never consider letting them walk home alone or play outside without supervision. If they forgot their lunch, we took it to them. If they left their homework at home, we took it to school. We began to make every decision for them and protect them from every consequence. We began to feel the “parent peer pressure” for our children to be the best and the greatest. If they graduated from college and couldn’t find a job, they came home to live and thus the term “boomerang” generation was born.

How do you walk the tightrope of helicopter parenting?

How do we raise our children in this frightening world without overprotecting them from the disappointments and trials of life? What are the long-term risks of helicopter parenting? Combine a little of the 50’s parenting, some of the 80’s style of parenting, and a very small amount of the 21st century parenting for the perfect parenting balance. There’s a fine line between cautious parenting and being a helicopter mom.

Ask yourself this question–Do you want your children to be independent successful adults or do you want them living in your basement for years and years depending on you to pay their bills and take care of them? Is it conceivable they will be going off to college and surviving alone, or calling you every day crying for help, or needing assistance with every life task? Will they be running home because they simply can’t survive without you?

My guess–your answers to every one of these questions would be a resounding NO! 

college prep, parenting, Uncategorized

Dear Middle School Student . . .

middle school student

It’s time for a serious talk. As a middle school student, you might think that college is far away in the distance and you will think about it when you’re in high school. But nothing could be further from the truth. In middle school you’re on the launching pad–preparing for takeoff. If you are serious about college-and a national survey says 92% of middle schoolers are—there’s no time like the present to get in the college mindset.

With this in mind, ask yourself these questions:

What are my goals?

How do your interests translate into a college and career plan? Do you have any career aspirations at this point or are you still keeping your options open? Even though you might not know yet, you can begin to formulate a plan to find out. Volunteer or shadow someone with a career that interests you. If you have hobbies, how will that translate into a career goal or college major? While in middle school, set your sights on the future and set some easily attainable goals.

Am I serious about my grades?

Academic success is a crucial factor in a college application. While colleges don’t look at middle school grades, good grades allow you to sign up for advanced courses in high school. If you aren’t serious in middle school, it’s going to be hard to change that pattern in high school. Commit to excellence in every class. This commitment will pay off when you enter high school and start applying to college.

Do I have a good study plan?

You need good time management and study skills to succeed in high school and college. Middle school is the perfect environment to focus on good study habits. Set up a study space, agree on a study schedule, and gather the necessary study materials before school begins. When school starts, get help if needed and communicate with your parents if you are struggling so they can make arrangements for a tutor. Don’t wait until you are drowning to ask for help.

Am I taking the right courses to prepare for college?

The courses you take in middle school will prepare you for high school. Take math and science courses that prepare you for advanced courses in high school. In addition, take English every year, as many history classes as possible, any computer courses that are offered, and foreign language electives. If you are interested in music, sports, or art, middle school is the time to explore those interests. In order to take the advanced courses in high school that colleges require, prepare for those in middle school.

Am I organized or is my room a disaster area?

The floor in your room is not a filing cabinet or a landing zone. Start now by developing good organizational habits. There will be scholarship applications, college information, standardized test information, school calendars, and more. Practicing good habits in middle school will prepare you for all the information you will receive in high school.

Am I reading?

Everyone reads, but is reading a priority? Reading is the best preparation for standardized testing and high school reading assignments. Reading also improves vocabulary and writing skills. Get your family involved by reading the same book and having a discussion or adding vocabulary words to the family dinner discussion. Summer is the best time to dive in to a summer reading program.

Am I involved in extracurricular activities?

Middle school is the perfect time to start exploring extracurriculars. Once you find one that interests you, you can carry it on into high school. Colleges look for consistency in this area and if you find your interest in middle school, you can begin your high school years focused and committed to that one activity.

How do I plan to pay for college?

Paying for college shouldn’t be your parents’ sole responsibility. There’s no time like the present to start applying for scholarships. There are scholarships for all ages and if you get a head start now, that free money will add up. Start asking for money for gifts and special occasions and add it to a 529 savings plan that your parents can set up for you. You don’t have to be legal age to work. Spend summers babysitting, mowing lawns, pet sitting and any other job that young teenagers can do. Add that to your savings account.

Research shows that students who are financially invested in the cost of their degree are more successful in college. Don’t rely solely on your parents to pay—make it your goal to contribute.

Have I visited any colleges?

It’s never too early to visit colleges. You don’t have to be a prospective student to visit. Plan some nearby college visits. It can be a family affair; even a mini-vacation. Early college visits will help you get accustomed to the college environment and a feel for what college life is like.

Are my friends motivated toward this same goal?

Friends are a huge factor in college aspirations. Consequently, start now by choosing those friends who are committed to academics and focused on future goals. When you and your friends are like-minded, you can encourage one another and motivate each other toward success. The wrong friends can certainly have a negative effect on your middle school experience.

It’s hard to look ahead four years and imagine graduating from high school. But, take it from a parent of two college graduates, the time will fly by. You can enter your senior year prepared and confident that you have planned for that inevitable day or you can be one of those students who starts panicking before graduation, knowing he has no plan or goal for the future. It’s entirely up to you.

Plan for the future but enjoy the journey!

college prep, parenting

Get Ready for College: It’s Going to be a Bumpy Ride!

 

ready for college

Your child going away to college is likely to bring a mixture of emotions. You might be proud, upset and overwhelmed all at one time. So, you need to make sure you prepare and plan to help them (and yourself) through it. Here are some tips that might help you get ready for college:

Accommodations

One of the key things you need to think about when it comes to college life is accommodations. Where will your student live while attending college? Will he live in the dorm? Will he live off campus? Will he live at home and commute? You should sit down and discuss his options. Once you decide, act quickly. On campus housing goes quickly, so be prepared to sign up as soon as your student accepts an offer of admission. If your student is living off campus, investigate options early. Housing off campus also fills up quickly.

Finances

Paying for college and tuition fees will be a huge expense. If you want your child to go to a good school, it’s going to cost you. Many parents like to start saving when they’re children are born, and will set up a college fund. But, you also need to be aware of the fact that this might not always be possible. In some scenarios, you’re not going to have the money saved, and this is when you need financial support. This is where things like AES loans come in handy. Make sure you assess everything as a family and decide on the best loan for your child’s education and future.

Nerves

Everyone is going to have nerves in this sort of scenario. You may be nervous about what the future holds for your child. But, think about how nervous they are going to be as they’ll actually be going through it! It’s important to try to remain calm and to be there to offer advice. Your child is going to have questions for you, and will look to you for support. It’s up to you to calm their nerves (and your own) by offering advice and support. Being nervous is natural with any big life change, and this is something you need to make sure you address.

Make Sure They’re Happy

It’s important to make sure your child is happy with this upcoming chapter in their life. You need to make sure that college is something they want to do. It’s crucial that they’re in the best possible frame of mind, so you need to keep an eye out for any pre-college anxiety. Going away to college is a big step in life and something they need to adapt to. And the only way of ensuring that is to make sure they are perfectly placed to enjoy everything college life offers.

When your child is going off to college, there are going to be a lot of things to address. And, as the parent, you should take responsibility for many of them. You have to make sure that you help your child choose the right college and major. And you need to make sure you address issues of finances and accommodations. If you can focus on these, your child’s transition to college should be smooth.

parenting

Teaching Basic Skills to Prepare for College

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basic skills

Many people are under the impression that college is the place where teens generate their life skills. But this couldn’t be further from the truth. College is the place where they will face their greatest test. Here they’ll be exposed to alcohol and drugs. And here, they’ll have to organize their own time in the way that they see fit. They need basic skills to prepare for college.

The way that they respond to that new environment is a function of everything that has come before. It’s all the preparation that goes on in their teen years that will determine whether college is a success or not. That’s why it’s so important to start building their life skills early on. Otherwise, they’ll do what so many college dropouts do: arrive at college and practice risky behavior. And then wonder why they didn’t pass any of their midterm exams.

Study Skills

The whole point of going to college is to study. It’s at college where we are supposed to build up our skills and become valuable to employers. But, as discussed, many young people squander the opportunity. Often it’s because they’ve been pushed into doing degrees they don’t want to do. But most of the time it just comes down to the fact that they still feel as if education is something being done to them. Now’s their chance to rebel, and they take it.

As parents, it’s important not to force education on children. It should be something that arises out of their natural interest in the world around them. Yes, there will be times when they are growing up when they won’t want to study. But the aim should be to make study something to be enjoyed, not forced.

A Sense Of Community

 

Too many young people these days are focused on themselves. And, given the pressure to do well in education, can you blame them? One of the consequences of this is that they are not focused on the world or the community around them. At college, this means that teens make it harder to make friends and establish satisfying relationships. That’s why teen mission trips can be so useful. Here teens learn about concepts of justice and fairness. And they get to interact with other people in their community and do their bit for the environment.

Cooking

Teens are used to having food prepared for them. And that’s all well and good – until, of course, they go to college. Once they get there, their inability to cook really begins to show. And this then means that they end up spending money on takeaways and putting on weight.

Cooking is an essential life skill. It’s something we all need to master if we’re going to lead longer and healthier lives. And it’s something that’s crucial for young people when they get to college. Food is an important part of our culture. And so students who can cook are often at the centre of student social life.

Being able to cook your own food at college can also be a great comfort. You get to eat homemade meals away from home with the added bonus of saving money.