It’s that time of year. Parents are dropping kids off at school and there are always tears—sometimes from both parents and students. It’s the inevitable separation anxiety.
When I was a kid, my mom told me that she was afraid my brother would hang on to her skirt until he left for college. I, on the other hand, let go with confidence and excitement. My brother never really liked school (or being away from my mom), but I thrived when the school year began.
No matter what type of kid you have—a clinger or an over-achiever, you are dealing with your own brand of anxiety. There are all kinds of parent anxieties and quite honestly, the parents fair worse than the kids when school starts. We never really get over those feelings that overwhelm us; even when they are adults and headed to college or graduate and begin living on their own. My mom used to tell me you never stop being a parent.
I’ve been reading parent forums lately and some common threads of emotion seem to resonate with varying groups of parents. From grade school to college, parents look to other parents to find ways of coping. For some reason, we find comfort in knowing that we aren’t the only ones feeling those feelings of fear and concern. Facing those feelings might make it easier when they leave for college; however, I can’t promise you will ever stop feeling like they are your little boys and girls.
It’s a sure bet that these fears and anxieties are experienced by every parent at some time in their kid’s lives:
Will they be safe?
Boy how things have changed since we went to school in the 50’s and 60’s. They’ve even changed since my kids went in the 80’s and 90’s. It’s a scary world out there and you would be crazy not to be anxious when your kids leave your care every day. But don’t let them see it; they need to feel safe and secure at school. Even though we know they are at risk, we have to trust that the teachers, staff, and administration will do their utmost to assure their safety.
Will they be bullied?
It’s sad to say, but there will always be bullies. I had my bouts with as did my own kids. But it seems that bullying has gotten more common and more vicious. Social media has escalated it to an art form and parents aren’t teaching their kids to treat others with respect. Before they ever walk out the door (from grade school to college) let your kids know that you are their advocate. Encourage them to come to you if they ever feel bullied. You’re in a much better place to judge the level of harassment and act accordingly.
Will they play well with others?
No matter how much you have taught them to share and be kind to others, you still worry that they won’t be accepted or accept others. School is the first place we all learn to get along with people other than our families. It’s where we learn to compromise and collaborate. Odds are they will take away the lessons they have learned into college and into the workforce. Have faith that they grasp this concept and grow in their ability to get along with others.
Continue reading Mom-Approved Tips: Dealing with separation anxiety