Tag Archives: stress

college planning, college prep, parenting

College Prep Stress: Into the Pressure Cooker

 

college prep stress

I have a few friends whose sons are applying to college. The stress and the pressure students face regarding college is palpable. The question bears asking: How do you help your student navigate the process without adding your own college prep stress and pressure? Trust me; it’s not easy. Parents have their own kind of pressure related to college. Most of it revolves around the question: How will we pay for it?

So here is my best advice related to those two important questions.

How do you help your student navigate the process without adding your own stress and pressure?

You must in every circumstance remain calm. This is only one of many choices your soon-to-be adult will make in his life. This is the time when you transition from being a hands-on parent to being a supportive parent. I know that’s easier said than done. It’s hard after making all their decisions for 18 years to step back and let them chart their own course. But this act, in itself, will help alleviate stress for both you and your student.

Once you take a step back, the logical course for you is to become an encourager and coach. You can offer advice, help in the decision-making process and keep track of filing dates and deadlines, make travel plans for college visits and provide tutoring support if needed. This frees your student up for the important tasks: test prep, choosing the colleges, and filing out the applications. Your student knows what is expected of him and you know how you can help. Less stress for both parent and student.

How do you remove the money worries and stress around paying for college?

I can’t tell you how many emails I have received from parents whose students applied and were accepted to a college the parents can’t afford to pay for. The excitement of acceptance is overshadowed by the reality that the student won’t be able to attend due to lack of funds.

The only way to avoid this inevitable disappointment is to do your homework. Before your student applies, do some research about the college. How much does the college cost? What do students typically pay (this is usually not the sticker price)? Does it have a high acceptance rate? What type of aid does it award to students? Do they typically award a large percentage of their incoming freshman substantial financial aid? Is your student at the top of the applicant pool therefore increasing his chances of receiving merit aid? And finally, estimate your EFC (Expected Family Contribution).

After the research is done, how much can you afford to pay? If the college doesn’t award aid, can you pay the difference between the cost of the college and your EFC? Is your student willing to put in the effort to apply and win scholarships to help with the cost?

Once you have all the information, your student should only apply to colleges that are within your ability to pay with a reasonable expectation of merit aid if needed. It doesn’t make sense for him to apply to a $50,000 a year college if you don’t have the means or the ability to pay. Parents often feel pressured into letting their student attend and take out massive student and parent loans to foot the cost. This is not a wise decision and can cause added stress and pressure that is unnecessary.

There are also other ways you can avoid the stress of college prep. Read my article for TeenLife Magazine, Helping Your Teen De-Stress About College Prep, for some additional information.

Wednesdays parent

Wednesday’s Parent: Stress, Stress and More Stress

 

stressThere is nothing more stressful than college prep while dealing with teenage drama. Following are the “best of” tips from Wednesday’s Parent on stress.

Surviving Standardized Tests

Nothing speaks more stress than standardized tests. Those two words or their acronyms are yelled, and screeched and treated with disdain in every college-bound household. Those two words cause fights, stressful days and nights, frustration over the teen’s lack of commitment, and absolute terror in the hearts of most college-bound teens. Nobody, and I mean nobody, likes taking tests.

For some tips on dealing with stress from the parent’s and the student’s perspective read more.

Pushing Buttons

Raising teenagers is stressful. Kids, especially teens, know exactly how to push your buttons. It might be back talk, or constant complaining or eye-rolling, but whatever the behavior, nearly every parent will experience the tactic of pushing buttons. Instead of giving my own advice on this topic, I’ve taken from two sources that should help you see both sides of the coin and perhaps help you deal with this inevitable conflict.

For tips on dealing with all the buttons teenagers push and seeing how parents in return push buttons as well, read more.

The Stress of College Prep

Stress. It’s a killer. Parents and teens deal with stress on a daily basis; and when the college prep season arrives, the stress intensifies. Do you know what to expect and how to deal with it? Just as with any family situation, anticipating problems that can or might arise should help you respond properly and deal with stress during college prep.

For tips on how to react to stressful college prep scenarios, read more.

Sibling Rivalry

Siblings. The very word conjures up thoughts of rivalry. A house with siblings is a house with sibling rivalry. As with any family, competition among siblings begins at an early age. They compete over just about everything: toys, bedtimes, gifts, food, clothing, and the list goes on and on. It’s only natural that the rivalry would increase during the college prep time, thus increasing stress. But is the rivalry between the siblings of their doing or are you initiating the rivalry by comparing one child to another?

For tips on how to deal with sibling rivalry, read more.

Read Wendy’s post: Wednesday’s Parent: Favorite Lines and Tips

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Wednesday’s child may be full of woe but Wednesday’s Parent can substitute action for anxiety. Each Wednesday Wendy and I will provide parent tips to get and keep your student on the college track. It’s never too late or too early to start!

The bonus is on the fourth Wednesday of each month when Wendy and I will host Twitter chat #CampusChat at 9pm ET/6pm PT. We will feature an expert on a topic of interest for parents of the college-bound.

Wednesday’s Parent will give twice the info and double the blog posts on critical parenting issues by clicking on the link at the end of the article from parentingforcollege to pocsmom.com and vice versa.

Uncategorized, Wednesdays parent

Wednesday’s Parent: College prep and holiday stress

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Sign up for my FREE parent tips email and get my FREE Ebook on college financing! Or subscribe to my blog on the left and get email updates.

Wednesday’s child may be full of woe but Wednesday’s Parent can substitute action for anxiety. Each Wednesday Wendy and I will provide parent tips to get and keep your student on the college track. It’s never too late or too early to start!

Wednesday’s Parent will give twice the info and double the blog posts on critical parenting issues by clicking on the link at the end of the article from pocsmom.com to parentingforcollege and vice versa.

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holiday stressIn the Charlie Brown Christmas, a song rings out, “Christmas is time is here; happiness and cheer”. If only. Unfortunately, the holidays for most are anything but cheerful. We have replaced holiday cheer and happiness with stress. And if you’re a parent of a college-bound teen, add all the tasks involved during school breaks and your holiday stress goes through the roof.

Add to the stress of the holidays and the entire family could combust. Never fear…help is here! Here are 3 tips about stress and how to deal with it.

Mom-Approved Tips: Stop stressing about college rejections

It’s that time of year. As the New Year approaches and regular admission dates loom in the very close future, parents begin stressing about college rejection. Although not as much as their kids do. Probably the most stressful time of senior year is waiting to hear from the colleges and dreading the wrong response. Why does this happen and what has caused everyone to be so stressed?

Mom-Approved Tips: 6 Stressful college tasks (and how to keep from freaking out)

It’s no surprise the middle name of college-bound teens is “stress”. According to a recent survey, 76 percent of college-bound students say they are stressed. If you live with one, you’re stressed too; and not just you, but your family as well. Granted, there are plenty of reasons to be stressed. And plenty of reasons why it’s impossible to avoid feeling stress (try as you might).

Wednesday’s Parent: 5 Tips to help with application stress

There is no greater stress than application stress. Every component breeds stress: standardized tests, GPAs, the essay, and even the recommendation letters. It’s no wonder students are feeling the stress when they start the application process. As a parent, it’s difficult for you to watch the stress levels increase as it gets closer to application time. And when stress levels increase with your student, the family stress goes up as well.

Need more tips? Head over to Wendy’s blog and read: 7 Holiday Stressbusters

college guidance, college planning

5 Ways for college-bound students to relieve stress

imagesFeeling stressed in those hectic teen years is the most natural thing in the world, but that doesn’t make it any less disheartening. College-bound students are preparing to make many significant life changes, and that can make this a frightening time of life. There are many ways to deal with this kind of stress, some more healthy than others. Consider these five ways to relieve stress and prepare yourself for the future in the best possible ways.

  1. Maintain a Healthy Diet
    Eating healthy is more important than you’d imagine. Good life begins with good food because you are, after all, what you eat. If you’re eating healthy, your body will be well nourished and you’ll have the energy you need to deal with all of life’s obstacles. A diet of junk food will leave you feeling sluggish and sap your motivation, causing problems to pile up. Many students try to offset this lack of energy with lots of sugar and caffeine, which can disrupt their sleep cycles and lead them to become even more exhausted. Start relieving your stress naturally by eating healthy.
  2. Exercise Regularly
    Sometimes the best way to deal with stress in your life is to find an outlet for your pent up energy, and exercise is the best way to let off steam. Exercising regularly will help you stay fit, work negative energy out of your body, and release endorphins to promote a natural sense of well-being. When stress seems to be piling up to impossibly high levels, sometimes the best thing to do is hit the gym or go for a jog to clear your head.
  3. Manage Time Effectively
    One of the biggest stress-related problems for college bound students is time management. If you don’t know how to manage your time effectively, you won’t be able to deal with the challenges that come up in your life in a timely fashion. Start using a daily planner to keep track of important assignments. Prioritize your activities to make the best use of the limited time you have every day. Soon you’ll realize that there are enough hours in the day–you just need to learn how to use them.
  4. Cultivate a Hobby
    We all know what happens when life is all work and no play. Take a break from your studies and worries every once in a while to cultivate a hobby. If you don’t have something in your life that makes you happy, your life is going to be infinitely more stressful. Read your favorite books, paint, participate in a sport, listen to your favorite Conor Maynard songs–whatever it is that makes you happy. Find a hobby that you enjoy and try to make time for it every day.
  5. Be Positive About the Future
    Worrying about the future is natural, but it doesn’t do you any good. The future is always going to be there, and it will always be uncertain. The best thing you can do is pursue something that brings out your passion, and do so positively. Be confident in your choices and chase your dreams. You’ll find that life has a way of working itself out when you apply yourself; so work hard, be positive, and try not to worry about the future.

Always remember my motto–preparation prevents panic.