Tag Archives: tips for parents

admissions, college guidance, college planning, college prep, mom approved tips, parenting

10 Tips for Parents of the College Bound

1 Comment

 

10 tips for parents

Parenting a college-bound teen is a challenge. How much should you push? How much should you help? Where do you draw the line? How involved should you be? How do you help your student fulfill his college dreams?

Here are 10 tips for parents that should answer your questions:

10 Tips for Parents of High School Students

1. Don’t overparent

Much has been written lately about the damages overparenting does to students. Step aside and let your student take the wheel.

2. Make a visit to your teen’s counselor

Let the counselor know that you intend to be an involved parent and establish a relationship at the start. The counselor is an important source of information and of course guidance regarding your teen’s college pursuit.

3. Establish relationships with teachers and staff

Since most parents tend to drop out when their teen reaches high school, it’s crucial that you make it clear to the educators that you will be a partner in educating your child. Show up at PTA meetings and parent information sessions.

4. Read all school information

This means reading the school handbook, teacher handouts, letters to parents, guidance department newsletters, any rules and policies, and homework and attendance rules.

5. Stress the importance of good attendance

Attendance is key in high school. Missing even one class can put the student behind. Schedule appointments, when possible, before and after school. If there is an absence, make sure your teen does the make up work in a timely manner.

6. Encourage strong study habits

These habits will follow your teen to college. Set aside a regularly scheduled study time. Studying needs to be a priority before any added activities.

7. Stress regular contact with teachers and counselors

This contact will play an important role when your teen needs recommendation letters. It will also establish in the minds of these educators that he or she means business.

8. Be the organization coach

If you know where everything is, have a schedule and a plan, you won’t get stressed and frustrated. It’s your job as their parent coach to help them start and maintain good organization for their date planners, notebooks, folders, files and college related materials.

9. Stay informed and involved

This does not mean camp out at the school every day and follow your teen around. It means monitoring quizzes, grades, daily homework assignments and long-term projects.

10. Be proactive when you encounter problems

All types of problems arise in high school: academic, behavioral and even social. There is a logical solution for all of them, but the key is to be aware when they arise and address them quickly.

10 Tips for Parents of Seniors

1. Do the prep work

Get ready for the mounds of catalogs, test prep booklets, flyers and email reminders. Start your filing system now, create a landing zone for all college-related materials, start adding tasks on a calendar.

2. Do your best to control your emotions

It’s going to be an emotional time for both you and your student. Angry words will be spoken if you don’t make a conscious effort to bite your tongue.

3. Prepare for rejection

The upcoming year will most likely mean that your student (and you) will have to deal with rejection. It’s not personal, but you will feel like it is.

4. Decide what role you will take

Please. I beg you. Do NOT be the parent that shoves, manipulates, and actually does the work for their student. Be the parent who encourages, supports and offers help and advice when needed.

5. Prepare for emotional outbursts

This is one of the most stressful times in your family. There will be emotional outbursts as the stress intensifies. Your student will say things she does not mean. You will lose your temper and wish you didn’t.

6. Discuss the money

If you want to avoid disappointment when offers of admission arrive, have the “money talk” before your student applies to colleges. Decide what you can afford, what you will be willing to contribute toward the costs, and what you expect your student to contribute.

7. Accept there will be consequences to actions

Your student will most likely fail or mess up at some point during senior year. Rescuing your kids all the time only makes them into dependent adults and colleges aren’t impressed with those type of students or the parents that come with them.

8. Be open to all possibilities

Be open to any college choices your student might make. You will not be the one attending the college and it’s not up to you to choose for her.

9. Don’t push-it simply won’t help

If your student is unmotivated, it’s not going to help to nag her and push her to do the college prep work. If there is one thing I learned with both of my kids (and clients), if your student is not invested in the college process she won’t be invested in college.

10. Enjoy the journey

This is an exciting time in the life of your teenager. She has worked hard and will be planning her future. Enjoy the next year, even when you feel stressed and overwhelmed.

college guidance, college planning, empty nest, parenting

Top 5 college adjustment tips for parents

empty nest

 

Sending your kids off to college will bring changes into your life. Not only will you have to learn to deal with concerns about health and safety once they’re out of your sight, but you’ll also have the loneliness of an empty nest to contend with. And then, of course, you’ll likely go through an adjustment period with finances. Plus, you’ll have to give up on the notion that your rules and advice carry the ability to influence your kids from afar. In short, it is a transitional period not only for the kids going off to college, but also for the parents left behind, forced to find a new way to live now that they no longer have the immediate demands of parenthood filling their every waking moment.

Here are just a few tips for parents that should help you to navigate this trying time in your life.

  1. Get a hobby. Now that the kids are off to college and intent on living their own lives, you may find yourself with a lot of free time on your hands. While most people would revel in this break from responsibility, the fact that your children are gone could have you moping around the house and missing the pitter patter of little feet (or the blaring music and slamming doors of your teens). A mourning period may be necessary, but there’s no need to prolong the suffering. Spend a few days watching TV and eating comfort food and then find a new way to spend your time. You might take a cooking class, join a gym, or take up gardening. Or you could start a book or movie club with friends. There are a myriad of ways to entertain yourself when you don’t have the pressing concerns of kids taking up all your free time.
  2. Take a trip. Parents often have a hard time figuring out where their relationship will go now that their focus isn’t mainly on the kids. Luckily, this is an excellent opportunity for you to get to know each other again, exploring interests that have long been pushed aside in favor of caring for children. Book a cruise, a weekend camping trip, or a Grand Tour of Europe and use that time to fall in love with your spouse all over again.
  3. Re-budget. Providing for higher education can be quite a balancing act when it comes to your finances. On the one hand, costs may go up significantly thanks to the exorbitant price of tuition, books, and living expenses. On the other hand, parents that plan ahead could have a college fund in place to cover these costs. And if students obtain scholarships, loans, or grants, not to mention paying a portion of their own way by working part-time, you may find yourself with some extra cash on hand. Either way, now is a good time to reevaluate your household budget in order to adjust it accordingly.
  4. Set some ground rules. You won’t have much control over your kids once they’re on campus, but you can still set a few ground rules. For one thing, if you provide a credit card it should be limited to use for school supplies and meals, for example (or else it gets cancelled). And you might want to let your students know that failing to attend class or achieve passing grades, in essence wasting your money, will lead to them getting cut off financially.
  5. Loose the reins. Obviously you’re not going to hire a security company in London or Los Angeles to follow your kids around campus. But if you’re calling them daily and trying to exert undue influence over every decision (from the majors they choose to the food they eat) it’s time to take a step back. If you’ve done a good job raising your kids you have to trust that they have the knowledge and skills to care for themselves and make good decisions. But if you insist on insinuating yourself into their lives you’re only going to alienate them, or worse, destroy their self-confidence and turn them into co-dependents for life. So loose the reins and let them run.